Wallflower - Comments

Since I have no idea if this is a Romance based story or if it's just a girls day-to-day life in Hogwarts, I really don't know which part of my writer mind that I need to use so I'm just going to go with the one I've been using for the last couple of Comment Swaps.

I like your background, though I don't know what it has to do with a "Wallflower", I like backgrounds that can connect to a story, and not make a reader only focus on the words that are being typed out; a story is based on the background and the words. The summary was very interesting, because the reader is interested in what makes the fifth year somehow change her. The paragraph's are sizable, but, if you're delving into detail, then you have to make the reader imagine what is going on around her.

From my skim reading of the first chapter, you have the sight knocked down, but what is she smelling in Grimmauld Place? Does Grimmauld Place smell pleasant to her or does it stink? The tiniest bit of detail can go a long way.

Hmm, this is interesting. I like the introduction, no matter how much information it lacks. It's intriguing, which was probably the whole point of writing it :) I like this, the descriptions are a bit simple, perhaps you could describe in more details what she feels, smells, tastes: it would be nice for you to include the senses besides sight more thoroughly, and would make it seem more realistic and whole, if that makes sense. Besides from that, the grammar and spelling is good, and it contains a lot of potential.

and the story continues.. hmm.. good chapter

Hey I came from the comment swap and this is the first time I've had a Harry potter fan fix come up so I'm really excited about that! I've only had time to read up to chapter 12, but I've subscribed so I can keep reading. All I can say is periodically check for spelling errors as you write and progress. That's about it. Oh and keep the details more interesting. It can get a bit dry.

I liked this chapter a lot

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Crusial indeed! And a building stone for what is to come later onion the story. Hmm.. Wondering what will be next and how things will be when they return to Hogwarts again.. Good chapter.

Aww! That was so sweet! I like it when her and Fred have moments. They are simply so sweet and adorable together. Good chapter.

Uh... A wounded pride and all that? That's going to take more than just a little time, if she does it by herself. Hmm.. Poor thing. I hope she doesn't do something too crazy at this time.. Hmmm... Good chapter.

Dang that's gotta suck for her.

I liked it! Please keep writing :)

Well that was well thought of, and whole hospital plan and all. I wonder how things will be from here on out, with her injuries.. Maybe the staring twin will come to the rescue? Who knows besides you? Good chapter.

Well that's all cleared up now. :)

I really love the way this story is going, I'm curioius to how she will get better, and what the twis will do in her abscence :)

I wonder if Fred Weasley is the twin with a forming crush. They definitely are on better terms than in the beginning, her and both of the twins are. I wonder if it will stay that way or not. Hmm.. And I wonder what will happen to her now that she's hurt and how the others are reacting to it. Good chapter.

i love this!!! (:

Okay, I really hate that you have to write so much for this comment swap. I try to write enough but I guess it's not so I'm sorry. Here's a better comment. I liked this story and I can't wait to read more of it. I've subscribed to it and I've recommended it. <3 Once again, sorry for the first comment.

I really like this story. It was good and had good grammar. There wasn't any mistakes. I hope you update it soon. I'll recommend it and subscribe to it. :) <3

Fair enough, I'm just wondering what you're building up to. It must be something good - I think. The story is really starting now and I can't wait to read more. Good chapter

I really love this story already!