Whoever She Is - Comments

This piece is a bit confusing for me, but I think it's pretty unique. I just think that the POV of two people got mixed up and it left me very confused at some point. However, I do know where you're going at with this. You know how much I adore your stoiies and this time is no different.

I think it is ironic how Thomas and Cassandra miss each other and mainly by accident. It is most ironic that they each leave the coffee shop with a different person, as I expected the two to leave together, hand in hand.

BTW, Cassandra is a kickass name and I love it.

I love this story! I’m glad comment swap brought me here :) Though I think you could improve- like when it’s changing the point of view of a person you could just break up the paragraphs so it’s more clear that the point of view is changed. Other than that I think it is an excellent story and the plot is very interesting. Please continue writing! :)

I think that you're writing possibly needs some improvement..your sentences aren't very structured or compelling, nor do they really make an impact.
just simply adding italics and changing up paragraph form can improve that.

also, just by holding his name, then saying his point of view and then holding hers and expressing her point of view would make it a lot less confusing. one second he was talking about how he didn't know her name and the next second her name was mentioned. I was confused at first until I read on.
anyways, I really like the plot and I'd like to see where this story goes!