Love You With My Knife - Comments

Damn, you're on the ball with these updates!!!!!! Maybe, possibly, if you'd be oh, so kind as to make another update, I would be thrilled!!!

Damn, I wasn't expecting an update today. :) I'm very happy!!!!!! I really don't like her mom.. She's terrible. Hope for another update soon!

FREAKING AWESOME. I LOVE IT WRITE MORE SOON.!

aw, they're so cute together! loveing this. update soon please.

So sweet :) I'm like in tears!!!!

This could just be me being picky and annoying, but you should take out the "THEN!!!" right before Kanto's phone rings at the end of the chapter. It needs a different way to make it suspenseful.

aaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I love him!!!!!!

Thank you for including my fabulously large eyes in your story.
I expect an honorable mention for my shoulders, legs, hair, boobs, and overall gorgeousness.

It's good, i'll subscribe :)

thank you for the advice.

I'm not going to lie, this story needs work, more so in the technical department than anything which actually is really good because it's easy to fix up! :3

Your grammar and spelling isn't really up to par, to be honest, more so the grammar than anything. Your paragraphs need to be spaced out more (for Mibba format, there needs to be a blank between each paragraph) and you switch tenses constantly throughout from past to present. Double punctuation is a no-no and your dialogue/tags need some fixing as well. The way I see it, I'd either get a beta or someone trustworthy to read it over and go through all the mistakes, or maybe even look up some grammar tips and whatnot yourself? I'm sure just reading some tutorials would really help.

Now onto the good! The way you described the room she was thrown into by her mom was truly horrible, but the imagery was really good which really brought out how truly terrible it was, which was awesome in a very sad way, aha. You really painted a picture of the musty, cramped space that she was in quite well and it really did tug on my heart strings. As well, the ending was truly unexpected and really caught my attention! That's actually really cool and I've never seen anything like it before, the sort of dark and daunting suspense that your narration is thick with, it's really good! Definitely draws the reader in! c:

The only thing is the execution- you've got a good premise in your head, and it's not like the writing itself is near horrible, it's just the lack of what I mentioned in the second paragraph that I think really would turn away most readers, as I'd probably click away at first glance. Just work on that and I think this could be a truly amazing story!

Hi again :)
4. Your evil. You made me cry,
5. Its really good though
6. please slap me for listening to Mrs. Martin, but the grammar and spelling needs work.
loves chu :)

1.You used my name, i love you.
2. The end almost made me cry.
3. Leave it to you to write a story where the puppy gets its neck snapped. I hate you and love you all at the same time. :P