She Knew. - Comments

As a companion piece to the song, I think this drabble works really well. But when standing on its own (as I read it initially) it seems to be lacking a bit of…umph! and body; it seems a bit bare.

I think people unfamiliar with the song will find this piece hard to connect to. It’s vague to the point where it might seem more empty than intriguing or mysterious.

I like the idea of this woman having designed this relationship (in however way) and having something that she’s actually planned still catch her a bit off guard or somehow changing/evolving or, perhaps, her changing/evolving over the time it’s taken for the relationship to play out.

I think just a little more detail, either in description of the scenario or the characters, would go a long way in helping readers feel more invested in the characters and the story and help readers to feel more.

This was beautifully written. It is just vague enough to let the reader put their own spin on things; leaving things up to the imagination, while at the same time, guiding the reader in the appropriate direction. There were, however, a few tense issues which could easily be fixed. It was evident that this song held a strong meaning in your mind, with a descriptive story playing out in your head. Intruiging and beautiful. Well done :)