January 23rd, 2013 at 02:13am
“What other crime? Who put you up to this?” Batman repeated. But before Harvey Dent could get another word out of his mouth, he started laughing manically, violently. He attempted to double over in laughter, but did not succeed because Batman was still holding him up against the wall. Bruce blinked, not understanding the man’s behavior. And as he tried to analyze the laugh, knowing he had heard it somewhere before, he dropped Harvey who instantly fell right to the floor and began convulsing, laughing all the while. “The Joker,” Batman whispered, watching Harvey and beginning to back away towards the way he had entered the building.
It was the Joker’s signature laugh that was escaping Harvey’s mouth. And that sociopath’s signature smile that had stuck itself permanently on the former district attorney’s face. The Joker was behind it all. But what was he behind exactly? What was he planning? Where? These questions, and many more, ran through Batman’s head as he made his way back to the Batmobile.''
I love this extract, it just describes everything beautifully and the 'signature laugh and sociopath's smile' sentence is gorgeous, I don't know why but it really stuck with me and I keep on repeating it in my head because it's so fabulous. This is really action-packed and exciting, a lot different to the other Joker stories I've seen around here.
Chapter 3: I also adore how you've included some of the other Batman characters in this, such as Nightwing, Robin, Batgirl and the Oracle: it makes your story very three dimensional, rather than it just being Batman x Joker. I suppose it makes everything rather realistic.
“Hello, hello, hello, everyone.” A maniacal laugh. It was the Joker, he had hacked into the frequency. “I know you’ve all been looking for me. And it makes me feel so special, knowing that each and every one of you care so much. Unfortunately, this is only between Batman and me. Yes, yes, I’m sure each and every one of you have some bone to pick with yours truly, but this particular night Bats and I are going to settle things mono y mono. So all you little kiddies just run on home, alrighty? That was an order. If Batman shows up with anyone else, or if any of you bird brains try to sneak up after he comes in, I’ll blow this whole town to smithereens!” The Joker finished his monologue, beginning to laugh uncontrollably. “See you soon, Batman,” he added after a moment or two, though it was barely audible.''
I love that little speech, your Joker dialogue is really realistic and you portray him so well, I can actually imagine him saying those words vividly.
Chapter 4:
The fact that he was calling from a slapstick comedy shop is a nice touch, very Joker-esque.
''Bruce was fed up with the Joker. He was fed up with him five seconds into their first fight all those years ago. But of course he couldn’t kill him, that wasn’t right. No matter how much Bruce really wanted that son of a bitch to die, he wasn’t about to do it himself. So he had to settle with shoving his ass in Arkham. And then he would break out and the vicious cycle would start again.''
I love this extract, it's really emotive and just describes Bruce perfectly. It made me laugh a little bit too, which I felt guilty about as the cycle is pretty vicious, but I have an odd sense of humour so nevermind.
Now it was Bruce’s turn. He readjusted his nose so that the bone could set correctly, and then he bashed his forehead against the Joker’s, causing both men to stumble back a bit. “Didn’t I tell you never to start off with a hit to the face?” the insane man laughed. “I won’t be able to feel any more pain until this fuzziness goes away again.”
Ahh, nostalgia. That little comment from The Joker reminded me of The Dark Knight, and then that made me smile. Good times.
“Alright, Batsy. I believe you, you can stop now. It’s not that funny,” The man shouted after him, letting out a few nervous, weak chuckles. Batman was joking, right? He wouldn’t actually kill him would he? Once Batman was far enough away he turned to look back at the shop, a frown on his face as he pressed the button.''
This was one of my favourite extracts, to see The Joker actually nervous for once, and to see Batty actually set on killing him... well, it was very exciting. You actually described The Joker being all anxious really well, although I've never seen him nervous I assume that this is how he would react. Anyway, this was really enjoyable and excellent. I'm going to read the sequel now, I've already read the summary so I know that The Joker didn't die... thankfully, it would be no fun otherwise.
So, I normally don't read superhero/villain fics, but after this one I just might have to. Needless to say, I pretty much know nothing about the fandom, except the little blurbs of things said on Big Bang Theory.
Anyways! This was really well written. Your writing style is great. Your descriptive, but not overly descriptive. It's just enough information for me to paint a picture in my head, but not with the scrutiny of every little detail. And I'd comment on your characterization, but like I said I haven't much to compare/relate it to. (Though, I liked how you made it easy to follow, so I got a clear example of what they were each like!)
All in all, amazing job!