June 11th, 2012 at 06:52pm
Overall, I thought it was a super cute story. But not to the point where its horrendously fluffy that it's puke-worthy, but sort of subtly sweet that's just like WELL AWW, ISN'T THAT JUST ADORABLE. :3
A few technical things, I'd work on your tags/dialogue (you can message me if you don't get what I'm trying to say) and the paragraphs should be more spaced out, you know? But other than that your spelling and grammar is actually pretty good!
I like that they're not in high school, because it sort of gives it that unique flavour to it that I don't see in a lot of stories here on Mibba. Usually it's the same school drab, but this is more different and life-like, I like it.
I didn't like the fact that he convieniently caught Dave cheating though, it almost seemed like a cop out. I think it would've been a lot more realistic if he just ended the relationship because he was tired of waiting, because not all relationships end as quick and dry as cheating, instead of going for the easy way out, I think the hard way would hit a stronger note. Too, it didn't make sense to go with the guy after he basically almost got a job at the interview, because... well, that's his career, he's going to leave it?
I thought the library scene was cute, and I the message overall to just let things happen and be spontaneous was again, really nice and simple and fluffy, which is what I liked about it. :3
It was super cute :D
Like I said, Jamie and Alex really just click, even from the library scene it was obviously. Again it was original, with the whole proposing after three days but at the same time it was realistic, almost. I loved it. I love Alex; like I wish he was my boyfriend! Lol.
I was suprised that Dave cheated though. Didn't expect it.
Anyway, I loved this :)