I’m here to judge for the ‘Pick A Couple, Pick A Flyleaf Song, Pick A Theme, And Get To Writing!’ contest.
I like how you started it with a simple sentence that instantaneously introduced me to Alex and his struggle with depression. You were unapologetic in the severity of his depression what with his suicidal thoughts and self-destructive behavior. Your detail to it makes it easy for me to empathize with him, though I cringed so much when he started talking about how he was “technically” with Jack after talking about waking up naked and next to a stranger.
Though I, personally, wouldn’t be okay with my boyfriend confessing to cheating on me numerous times. I understand that Alex was depressed, but he put Jack in a crappy situation very selfishly and I feel like Jack had the right to be angry—even with Alex’s mental state. There’s really no excuse for cheating, not even depression. Even just an ounce or split second of anger and betrayal from Jack would have been more realistic than him immediately forgiving him and telling him that it’s okay. It’s really almost like Jack turned a blind eye to the confession because he didn’t even acknowledge it—not in his expression or in words? I just really didn’t believe that because cheating is serious and starts a deep-rooted problem in the person that got cheated on, such as trust issues and insecurity. It’s not some little thing that can be glossed over or immediately forgiven because the cheater is depressed.
Other than that bit, I did like the balance between angst and love between the two characters. I liked your detail to the ‘taboo’, so to speak, and it made this an emotional piece. So good job.
I liked this one...I hope you're planning to add more! It really was a good start! I also liked how you incorporated the lyrics of the song into the story itself....very clever! :D
I like how you started it with a simple sentence that instantaneously introduced me to Alex and his struggle with depression. You were unapologetic in the severity of his depression what with his suicidal thoughts and self-destructive behavior. Your detail to it makes it easy for me to empathize with him, though I cringed so much when he started talking about how he was “technically” with Jack after talking about waking up naked and next to a stranger.
Though I, personally, wouldn’t be okay with my boyfriend confessing to cheating on me numerous times. I understand that Alex was depressed, but he put Jack in a crappy situation very selfishly and I feel like Jack had the right to be angry—even with Alex’s mental state. There’s really no excuse for cheating, not even depression. Even just an ounce or split second of anger and betrayal from Jack would have been more realistic than him immediately forgiving him and telling him that it’s okay. It’s really almost like Jack turned a blind eye to the confession because he didn’t even acknowledge it—not in his expression or in words? I just really didn’t believe that because cheating is serious and starts a deep-rooted problem in the person that got cheated on, such as trust issues and insecurity. It’s not some little thing that can be glossed over or immediately forgiven because the cheater is depressed.
Other than that bit, I did like the balance between angst and love between the two characters. I liked your detail to the ‘taboo’, so to speak, and it made this an emotional piece. So good job.