Staying Up All Night - Comments

Comment Swap:
I've read all five chapters that you've written (it wasn't hard since they're so short) and I really like what you're doing. I like how simple everything is; it's not over detailed and described and worded like a lot of stories now-of-days are. You really get a good feel for the characters. I wish you would include just a little more plot in the chapters, maybe lengthen them a smidge like you did with 5. I think this is really solid and such a unique story. Oh and i love how you start out every chapter with a date and time, thats so creative!

Comment swap!

I got excited when I found out what it was going to be about, the friends with benefits plot line can always be an interesting one.

I really, really enjoyed how you made Ravi be the one who had the feelings, and not Margot. I think that even though your chapters were short, you still gave the characters a real depth and development. I thought that you managed to give them a real sense of character from the first sentence in their part. I think that their connection is interesting, and I think that it will be really interesting to see where it goes. I think that you are a very good writer, and do well with descriptions and I appreciate that a lot. Margot, you can tell that she really does care, just not in a love way, at least not yet. I wanted to keep reading, each chapter enticed me to keep going to the next one. I think that you really made me feel things and that made me really, really excited.

Not gonna lie, I'm a huge sucker for friends with benefit stories. Reading the summary, I expected the cliche type of friends with benefit stories that seem to appear a lot on Wattpad, but I was pleasantly surprised to see that it didn't turn out this way. Firstly, I like that Ravi is of ethnic descent (I'm assuming by his name) because you don't get many non-white lead characters in story. Secondly, I love the contrast between Ravi and Margot. Ravi is a sweetheart who's great in bed who've I also fallen for, whereas Margot is a bitch and a little annoying but when she's describing their friendship, you can see that she really does love Ravi, just not in their way. I'm a bit disappointed to see that this story hasn't been updated in a year, since I would love to subscribe/recc this and know that there's another chapter coming soon? Either way, I really like this and I hope you update soon!

i really like this story
please update

I must say that these kinds of stories aren't usually my type but this seems very interesting. It's actually quite realistic which is a nice change from a lot of the things I've been reading lately. I like the progression so far. I hope you're still going to keep writing, I'm pretty interested to see what's gonna happen.
And honestly, this story could almost describe my life right now ... maybe I could get a few ideas from it xD

Comment swap!

Okay, so first of all, I'm a huge sucker for friends with benefits type stories, even though they're so cliche and you already know what's going to happen in the end. I like this, though. I love Ravi (is he desi?). He's so sweet and caring and he really loves Margot, who, on the other hand, is a little late to get the memo. I like this story, it's cute and I'm definitely subscribed.

Second, I'm not a stickler about grammar so you won't hear any of that from me unless it really bugs me, but the last chapter, I feel, could've been written better. Like I feel like you were in a hurry or something to write it because while the last four chapters had a pretty good amount of detail for them being so short, this one was longer but had less detail. And I also think you could've led into that flashback a little better. I find it awkward when writers describe the encounter a little and then leave it off at an ellipsis and then start the flashback...yeah, sorry. I'm not normally this critical but the last chapter was very out of place in comparison to the rest of the story.

This is a very intriguing story :)

I would kind of prefer longer chapters, but I won't tell you how long your chapters should be. That's a personal judgement call for an author. You need to proofread a little, but there are no major problems that I noticed. Your characters are interesting and their interactions are perfect. You're doing really good.

I like your characterisation, especially Margot, as she doesn't seem like the nicest person on first viewing, so it's really clever of you to create a character like her that isn't necessarily nice all the time but that the reader is still interested in her and can emphasise with her, so I really liked that. Agreed, I would have liked slightly longer chapters, because I wanted to keep reading!

I'm going to recommend this story and subscribe to it, I love the way you have set this story out and the chapters are short and easy to read, you don't loose interest, I really like Ravi (I hope I spelt his name right) he is very sweet and I wish there were more guys like him.

There are a bunch of grammar mistakes, just make sure you proof read, after all nobody is perfect. I give you props on creating a character your audience is going to hate, because it can be very hard.
Fix the chapters, make them more like chapters, not entries, and try adding details and descriptions to lengthen them.

(Comment Swap) "She wanted nothing to do the thought of relationships but didn't love him." this is confusing me, feels as if it would benefit form a rewrite?
A flat layout. what does the image mean, how does it relate to this story? Going back and forth between the characters seems good.
(Chapter 3)
Is this narrative? some words makes more confusion.
Still captured the mind set of the boy, how he felt, what he thought.
Painting the picture of the girl, he jhust couldn't get out of his mind?
On the comment, it's the way it should be, you need the both of them.

On a later note, it looks like a diary/journal, in a way, with the date on the top.

Well, I like the idea. But Margot is a huge bitch, and Ravi is so sweet. I could only imagine how much his heart dropped when she said the other guy's name. But my only problem is how short the chapters are, they seem more like journal entries in the character's journals.

I absolutely love this. I dont have one negative thing to say. I know people are saying the chapters are too short, but i also write in this style. It's good. Real good. Im gonna subscribe so you best keep writing this :P

The chapters are very short and would be so much better if they were longer. As Elizabeth_Hurst said it would be nice to know more information of how they became friends and then friends with benefits. Its a really good story :) Comment swap brought me here ;)

The chapters are a bit short for my taste, but the story is great. I'm anxious to see some back story though. I want to know how they became friends with benefits and how they came to meet. You have a great story here. Keep writing!

i really like this so far. i've seen the image in the header before and i've ALWAYS wanted to write a story like it but this is so much better than anything i could come up with.

their chemistry is great, i love all the little snips, and how they seem like really different people. it's really good.

the only thing is i'd love to see longer chapters, purely for selfish reasons so i have more to read but still ;-)

great stuff, subscribing! <3

I like this and the dynamics of the pair and i instantly want to know more about them and how they got to this point in their relationship (friends with benefits). And longer chapters would be awesome :)

I really like this story. The chapters could maybe be a bit longer but this is otherwise a pretty ajazing story. I am gladd that mibba's comment swap brought me here. I am really interested in this story.

The short chapters really threw me for a lopp cause I'm not use to them, but I found the story pretty intriguing. The I keep thinnking that something's going to change and they'll have this super epiphany together lol but I'm interested :)

I really liked this. Sure, the chapters are short, but I think it's fitting. If the updates are frequent then I won't mind them being short as much - because possibly at one point it would bug me. I love the banner picture, I think it's very cute. The story title on it is hard to read, so maybe you'd want to make the font a bit darker. I really like the layout, I think it's very different from what I'd normally see. I'm really excited to see what happens next!