Risen Moon - Comments

Came here from the comment swap.
For starters, I do really enjoy this. Your description of their environments, surroundings, characteristics, and feelings are amazing. I am completely drawn in to the dynamics of the characters. I do agree with the others in that it would make more sense if a summary of the first book was included. Overall it is really good and I hope to see more from you soon!

Comment swap c:
Right off the bat I personally have to say I am not a big fan of switching POVs throughout stories :( If you wrote from an omniscient narrators point of view, you wouldn't have to switch POVs each chapter. But like I said, that's just a personal preference of mine. I think a layout would help attract more readers to this as well.
Anyways, as someone who did not read the prequel, you really caught my attention by the last paragraph of the first chapter. I would recommend you maybe summarize what happened in the prequel in the summary of this story though, and not just say it's the sequel. It would help me as a reader to become more invested in what's happening if I knew some background information about what happened prior to the events of this sequel.
However I do really enjoy the dynamics between the characters so far. They seem to really, genuinely care for each other. Your description with feelings is also pretty contagious. If anything I'm definitely invested in the characters and their interactions with each other.
I'm in agreement with the others who commented saying it is a little hard to follow, though. It seems like it isn't linear, which is totally okay, and I'm sure if continued the pieces would fall into place eventually. Not everything is supposed to be understood at first.

Oh man. This is pretty mysterious so far. With the way it's headed, I'm scared it might turn into a story line similar to Lost (the show) where something new is dropped on me before I can figure out what was going on with the first thing. I'm wondering how many different points of view you'll write in. I always like books with 2, 3, or even more points of view. It's exciting to see the same story written in different ways and to be able to try and connect dots before the characters in the book can do it.
Because a character's name is Belle and because of a mention of vampires and wolves, I'm assuming this is inspired by Twilight? If it's not I'm sorry for thinking so and I certainly hope you don't get offended or anything.
I just happened to scroll down through your other comments and I discovered that this is a sequel? I'll have to go back and read the prequel because I'm lost and intrigued enough to want to read more into this.

In short, I like what you've got so far and I'd like to encourage you to continue writing and developing this story.
I wish you the best of luck in this journey. :)

The introduction is very well-written, and I love your description, especially in the first chapter. There's a fair amount of intrigue, as it'll be interesting to see how these characters interact in other chapters. The characters so far seem very real, very rounded, and I love the way you've written them; they're very interesting.

This is a really good story! One thing I always suggest for sequels is to explain a little bit of what happened in the prequel since your new readers might not have read it. You did a pretty good job, but the second chapter was a bit confusing. I would also suggest that you add a layout, which might attract more readers, and to have a description to tell us a little bit about what this story is about, other than "Sequel of..."

Other than that, you have great detail, and wonderful descriptions. I think you described Cassandra's feelings well, and I look forward to seeing more of her in the story. This is a great start to a story, keep it up! =)

I love this story so far, it is amazing. It is very interesting, and beautifully detailed. The character holds a lot of emotion and expression, that you've managed to portray so well. You're a very talented writer, and I just love how you write and tell the story. :3 I hope you update very soon, I would love to read a lot more, as this story has just got me hooked with its glory, and it is just so interesting, I have to read more! (: x
Lucy.

I love it.

I love this so far, but it’s slightly confusing to read. I like the changes of point of views from different characters, yet I find it hard to keep up with the storyline as it moves along. One moment it’s about a wonderful love story and then it fast-forwards to something sad and depressing, and then the next point of view talks about a character killing someone? It’s quite hard to keep up, but nonetheless I love it so far.

I'll start with the fact that I already love this story! Now, I love how you write, there is no detail spared in this story. Not only is it your detail that makes this a great story so far, but it's just how you write, I'm not to sure what it is exactly but I can already tell that I'll be returning to this story soon!

Well comment swap didn't give me the prequel to this story, but I like the title and how it connects with the prequel, Angel Moon.
I like how you described things. It made me seem like I was there, seeing what Cassandra was seeing in the first chapter. Everything just seems so lifelike and from what other people have written below, I'm not the only one who thinks so. You've got some nice talent here! :)

Pondy your writing is brilliant. I love how emotional and angsty this is- it's right up my street! Love it. You have such a great ability to capture the emotion of a moment, it's so good. I love the way the reader is immediently launched into the story. xx

-Vince

I like a lot how you describe everything in detail. I love that at a story. I find a lot of resemblances to real life people...I actually saw the first chapter happening in real life and it freaked me out. of course there were other 'characters' and other surroundings but it seriously creeps me out how realistic it is:| and that's good. that's a good sign for you as a writer.

my rhi is a beautiful writer <3

I just got to read the second chapter. The way you write is really intense, and the way the characters are written are very life-like. The beginning really does pull you in and keeps you wanting to read more. I love how easily the descriptions flow and how easily the emotions come across. I like the beginning - the way the setting was, while the second chapter showed a more dramatic side to the characters. Like I said, wonderful story; I can’t wait to read more! I’ll definitely check out the first story to it to see what it’s about.

You write beautiful descriptions. And the first chapter really pulled me in. I think I'm going to go check out the prequel to see what this is all about, haha. The way you write about the surroundings and the characters' feelings makes me feel like I'm really there and makes me want to keep reading. Nice work.

I really like this. Your writing style is very good. I really enjoyed the dialogue too. I thinking you really have something great here. I like this because it seems really original. You're a great writer and I think this will definitely go far. Great Job!

This is such a well written story so far, the emotions and descriptions are written so well, you feel like you're viewing this like a movie or really there, it really pulls you in. Keep it up!

ooooo, this is interesting. i really like how emotional you make it, using first person to show the protagonist's wants, and everything they're not saying. it works really well.

the paragraphs are quite chunky, but they're packed full with so much info, they work really well. and i love how your characters talk to each other. <3