Counting the Miles - Comments

Hey guys, I'm not sure if you've seen my blog post but I am still working on the story. The creativity is just not going well. But I am trying.

~ From Comment Swap ~
So far I really like this story. I'm glad Comment Swap brought me here :)
The dialogue is good and so are the descriptions... I liked the summary, it drew me in very quickly, which is always a good sign, and I haven't been disappointed. I can't wait for more chapters!

The only thing that confuses me a bit is when you randomly (or so it seems) change from First person to Third person for no apparent reason?
Other than that though, I've really enjoyed reading this and I can't wait for the next instalment! <3

Yay a kiss!! Please don't leave me hanging too long I want to know how she reacted! :)

This is really good, the layout is nice and the summary is cool too. I like you're writing style and this story flows really well. the dialogue is excellent too. The whole story really pulls you in. This is really good, well done!

i really like this, the dialogue is nice, and the relationships between characters are really interesting. your writing is quite simplistic but it works well.

the only thing i'm really confused about is why you switch the perspective seemingly at random. there is no indication and it just switches. this could work well, using third and first, but you'd need some kind of warning, or notice that it's being done deliberately. other than that, really good. <3

Errors for the Summary:
'Miles of black asphalt roads taking us...' - It sounds like there should be a comma directly after asphalt.
'The road trip we though for...' - You mispelled 'thought'.
Erros for Ch. 1:
You went from First person point of view to Thrid person point of you randomly and then switched back without any warning. You need to pick one Point of View or label it.
And seperate your paragraphs, its a little jumbled.
And one overall comment, you need to use something to seperate the different parts of the story, when you jump from one scene to another. It will heelp the reader understand whats going on. Using a simple: ***** will work just fine. :)

Other then all that! I loved your story! It's cute and original! I'm so glad comment swap brought me here because I'm subscribing! I'm very interested to see where this goes! :)

Hey.  I just wanted to say that I found your story on comment swap, but even though I did, I really like your story. Right away at the summary I was drawn in, and couldn’t wait to read it, the summary drew you in and made you want to read all of it right away, even if it meant staying up until ridiculous times in the middle of the night *cough cough* As soon as It started, I knew I was going to love it. While reading, I thought it flowed easily, and was well written, with no grammar, spelling or other errors. Besides that, on a non-important note, the background was easy and didn’t take away from the story, as it wasn’t distracting. Besides that, as soon as I finished the first chapter I loved it and subscribed right away. I really had no problems with the story, and can’t wait for you to update, since it was so good. Also, on a really non-important note, I just wanted to add that I really like the name Ace for some reason, and really liked it in the story. I cant wait to read the rest, and good job!

First off, I’d say the background is too bright. To be honest, it kinda hurt my eyes to read it.

“Bells, we have been over this so many times there are no other ways I can go about this,” should be:

“Bells, we have been over this so many times. There are no other ways I can go about this,”

Or, instead of using a fullstop, you can use an exclamation mark.

I believe you need to separate your paragraphs, at the moment it is pretty hard to read. However, so far, you have a solid storyline, and perhaps this will go pretty far. I will admit that the prologue, or description, sounded slightly boring and didn’t motivate me to read this at all.

Yay for the long chapter! I really like this story it's something I'd love to do, basically you're writing my dream!

Can't wait for more! I already love this story :)

This is a great start, can't wait for more :)