Like Tonight's Sky - Comments

Brought here by comment swap! The interactions between Nieall and Evie are very adorkable and cute especially their conversation about what she does for the hotel. Him trying to flirt by joking about whether or not she counts as "hotel property" was especially cute. Great story!

Great story... characters seem real and not just robots . I could understand what was happening and got a good sense of what the story it self was working towards. ... I did not read the entire book ,only the first chapter but from what i could see you write pretty well ..... keep writing!

Comment swap :D

I really enjoyed this story, Niall and Evie are the cutest couple ever. You're writing was great. The story line very good. I think I fan girled over them, haha. I thought I wouldn't like this story as I'm usually more into the vampire one direction story's rather the more romance drama onces but I was pleasantly surprised. I'm glad you didn't go down any of the depression or father abuse to the main character root, the story line is over done and makes out depression and a abuse as romantic, which is wrong. I'm so glad you stayed away from that story line :)

Overall Great story xxxx

comment swap :)

So first off, this came up on my comment swap and honestly I thought 'oh god, another One Direction fanfiction' but I thought I'd give it a fair shot and stay open-minded and I actually really enjoyed it!! Your writing is brilliant, I loved your characterisation and descriptions - your descriptions were brilliant but sometimes I felt I'd have liked there to be just a little more, not much tho.
This is really great, I was pleasantly surprised, it was just fun and I liked that! keep it up :)

First off- I freaking love how the layout matches the girls dress on the cover! But I found a flaw while reading- the content seems like it's going to run off into the layout... you may want to fix that when you can. Lol it's funny I was sent here from comment swap because I hate One Direction with a passion haha but you actually made it alright to read:) You put detail in your writing and I like that. :) Keep writing, I love your writing style!:)

Sent by comment swap! :)
This was enjoyable is a little fast paced, however, knowing they are young (18) and knowing what me and my friends were like for 'love' at 18, I think it's believable.
Secondly, you gave too much about her away too soon! I wanted her to remain a little mysterious for longer, you could've milked that a little lol
Overall, it was enjoyable. I'm not a 1D screaming fangirl and defo no Niall fan but it was light hearted, youthful and fun.

Well that was fun. And I’m thinking your point of this story is to be fun. And well, it was. I really liked that things happened quickly. I liked Evie. She’s an interesting character. It was very simple and easy to follow. There was just enough detail. The way the characters behaved and were described was not tedious at all. Good job. I’m reading chapter 2 right now.

Mistakes in chapter 1:
Niall rolled his eyes, Louis and Eleanor have gotten closer in the past few weeks. (this one is a run-on.)
Zayn had Perrie, even though shes back home, the couple always has… (shes=she’s)
Her light blue uniform creating perfect contrast with her hair. (This isn’t a complete sentence.)
(I’ll be pointing out some of the mistakes of the other chapters, too, when I’m done reading.)

Comment Swap:
I like your writing style. It was very detailed and well-written, and you characterized Niall very well. I think you have a good feel for your characters because you describe them and their behaviors very well. There's an air of mystery here which is good for the story, because it keeps it interesting. And your dialogue fits with the story, it isn't overbearing at all. Good job!

*Comment Swap*
So to be honest, I don't really like one direction. This was cute. I read up until chapter 5 and I liked the writing. I think you can describe more but it was good. I felt the relationship was moving just a bit too fast. I mean even if he was drunk, I think it was too soon to admit thats he's in love seeing as they barely know each other.

Comment Swap:
So I was asked to read this because of the comment swap, clearly, and I really liked it. It’s actually pretty hard to write a good One Direction fanfiction here because there are just so many that you will be compared to but I personally think you’ve done a pretty good job of making this your own and making it unique. There are a few pieces here and there that could be better if they were touched up a little or maybe even rewritten. I think it might help if you make your own personal writing skill a bit more creative using the various writing techniques and terms, some extra descriptions and things of that nature would be good too. Keep up the good work!

lovely chapter! update, please :)

Amazing story, just started reading and now I'm hooked. Great job! Can't wait to read the next one :)

*gasp* Oh my goodness.

Love it, i finished this all in one sitting. update soon!

Comment Swap!

Your first few lines could use some touching up, it didn’t quite intrigue me, but the second paragraph got me excite and I kept reading. You lack some descriptions in certain areas, just remember that you have to trap us in your story and stop us from wondering off. There are also spots that seem to skip as if it was a scratched disk. Read this out to yourself aloud and see if you can notice what I have. Using a lot more similes will add to your characters profile, mention key items like clothing, shoe laces that need tying, the way their hair is done or if their rooms are clean. Slowly build a character one brick at a time and you’ll keep the reads following you. The tone you are using is very well done and suits your story but I would match the tone every chapter depending on the main character’s behaviour. This will make the reader assume how this character feels in the room, towards someone, or the idea of a certain thought, giving us the insight we need to become emotionally attached towards them.

Thanks for the read and I hope you keep writing because this has potential.

I just stumbled across this today, and I already love this.
It's just bloody brilliant.

"Oh it's not over yet". Oh dear Niall.... Welp, I don't know about everyone else but I'M looking forward to the next chapter! Haha.

haha loved it!

Zayn walking in on that hahaha
But damn they were practically dry fucking!!! Hahaha

OH poor Zayn...I'd hate to walk in on that XD But, still. I love how Harry's teasing him, but I still want to know more about Ali! Gah!