October 20th, 2012 at 11:18am
Just a few spelling things: it's 'straight' and 'torture' on the first page. Also in Chapter 1 you capitalize a lot of things that don't need to be such as 'Smiling' Turned' 'Like'
I think this could be an interesting story but maybe read it through a couple times before you post it?
Anyway, keep going :)
I think this could be an interesting story but maybe read it through a couple times before you post it?
Anyway, keep going :)