Darkest Before the Dawn - Comments

This is the opposite of horrible. This is beautiful in a depressing and painfully-realistic way. I have never been in a situation where I have had to care for my parents like your main character, but I think alcoholism is only one way that people can connect with your story. Your main character is wonderful- not too strong, not too weak, and very, very human. The way you worded each section was amazing: it was beautiful and straightforward. The word choice didn't sound forced, but it was also colorful enough to visualize. Absolutely amazing.

I like how your characters could relate to each other through similar experiences. It's not often that you get a story where the characters go through the same thing, it's usually one character suffers while the others just there to pick up the pieces. I also loved how you could feel the girls conflicting emotions, how on one hand she wants to get away but on the other she feels as though she HAS to stay. It was really good :)

This really hit home for me. My mom is an alcoholic although never this bad. The characters actually seemed real too. You gave them life. This isn't horrible at all. It's amazing and you did a wonderful job.

Also, I don't know if you got the title from that Florence and the Machine song, but I really like it! Both the title and the song... :)

Wow! I really, really liked this! It was so depressing, but it was really good! I like that your characters had real life flaws, it made them really three dimesional. There were two things I didn't like about it, though. The first is that it's a one shot. I would LOVE to read more about Shelby and Logan's relationship and how they became what they were. The second is real criticism, but not meant in a bad way. I just noticed you used the word "had" a lot. I used to get that same comment in my writing, but really, if you just take it out, in most instances the sentence still works. Other than that, really good job!