Maneater - Comments

Wow. I really love this! It was incredible. Well written, and I found this character interesting. She's not perfect, and she knows that. I think there's more to her, though. Like maybe she wants to genuinely be loved and genuinely love in return, but she doesn't even know. I could be completely wrong, but that was the feel I got from it. A woman who wanted someone to love her, not her body, and she wanted someone worth loving in return.
Either way, wonderful story! Well written. It was a super easy and fascinating read. :)

I love your layout, first of all. And the lyrics at the beginning? I love when people begin their stories that way :) Anyways, you write so beautifully - I'm really jealous :) It's elegant and hypnotic! I think my favorite part is the end - but it isn't really the end because the cycle just starts again. This is like poetry to me, and I love it :) Great job.

This is so beautifully written. The description is beautiful. I love how she isn't perfect, just aware of her own body. I think it's a great way to show you don't have to be perfect to get a man.

I love the extended metaphor or hunter/prey. I think it's just a great way to describe it! I loved it. So beautifully written :)

this is so good! i'm actually jealous oh man, your writing is just so nice. the layout is BEAUTIFUL, like seriously. it's great.

and the story itself is wonderful! i love the whole maneater/femme fetale type thing, it's a pretty big guilty pleasure of mine, so i totally loved this. i love how you go through the process, and then it ends with the cycle kind of starting over again. i have no criticism, it's great. <3

Ooh total femme fatale. I like it :) and I like how she's not totally drop dead gorgeous too - because then the hunt would be too easy haha. It's nice how you describe it as a hunt, as if she's the predator, and no feelings are involved (on her part at least). Is there going to be more to this? I can totally envision a story where she gets played by a guy that's just like her. And then it's a battle of wits and they try to win at their own game. It would be awesome and probably a hilarious story

It's not often that I read a short piece of prose that reads like a beautiful poem. This was one of those times; everything was just so perfectly written that it turned into more than simple words and simple sentences.

I have been friends with that girl and I've been close to the guys who fall for her. So much truth was in this story. Great work.

I'll just keep this short. I loved it. I love the way you made the story sound realistic. For example when you explained the normal appearance of the character: not flawless and she hid it with what girls use to hide their flaw. I don't even know if I'm making sense here but I think you get my point. ^^"

I love how you keep it simple to make your readers laugh. Like, ‘Nothing much, just fought an alien invasion.’ That really made me smile. xD

Quick check: She didn’t have to look to know they was watching. - paragraph 5. If I don't misunderstand, I think it is supposed to be "they were watching". :)

Other than that, I think your writing is amazing. You use simple English yet your sentences are beautifully linked which makes your writing fdsfsjvnsmcnsdck. And and, even though there's not much of a plot in the story, it is brilliant how you make it seems it does. .. ..? Am I even making sense? And again, I hope you get my point.

Oh, and finally, I LOVE YOUR ENDING.

"Then it was back to square one."

That's just peeeerrrfect. xDD

Oh, I definitely know who's starring in this story. Tut, tut. Naughty girl~
Y'know Lary, I've always been a fan of your writing. This story? It's a good comeback for such long absence. This is so you in every way possible; from the way it's narrated to the little texts you noted down. Best of all? It's how you point out that boys aren't boys; they're just possibilities and eye-candies.

she turned into a hypocrite. She didn’t miss them. She missed their lips. Their body. Their hands. The way their skin felt against hers. Their actual personality? She scoffed. best way to sum it up. It's all a hobby of sorts. Breaking down those guys, it's a hobby.

I loved it. It's like a short story into the mind of those self-confident chicks that can bring most men to their knees. Very enlightening.

In short? I loved this.