Paradise Found - Comments

I hate oneshots. Especially as beautifully written as this. Id love to see where you could go with this

@ ShannanGBurnett
I'm not sure that you completely read the story... it's not about the sex. There's sex at the beginning, yes, but it's not at a party and it's clear that they were in their bedroom (and their home) when the morning after is described. The point of view is, yes, first person but is also from a man's perspective, not a woman's like you said that it was. He is in a polyamorous relationship with another man and a woman. It's not written about the sex they have - which is why it's left vague as it is - but rather the relationship and sentiment that the three of them share.

Alright, you have focused too much on the FUCKING and forgot the rest. Are they in a car, room, pool, on a roof, panic blanket? Now I am a guy, and I have been taken advantage of when it comes to sex. ‘Vulnerable’ is me, a nice looking girl walks up to me at a party, and Bam! THE PANTS ARE GONE! But seeing this through a girl’s eyes is a lot different for me, you had that down pat, but when I get busy with a girl, one that I hardly know, there are no pecks or giggles, there is a plain creepy silence and awkward movements and it finishes with “done, now let’s get back to the others.” So again this is very different for me to see such Lust and desire spilling out of these characters. But who is doing what at the beginning, massively confusing there, this 1st person text should be easy to describe things, so run over it with a four-wheeler with dirty slang and gritty positions to help us know who is doing what.

Wow, that was so cute! I loved it and for some reason it made me want to take a shower and go eat breakfast. :) I love the happy vibe that the story gives off and the nameless characters are awesome! And the doggy too of course. But there is something that I do find a little odd. Did the main character get his bruises from having sex or what?
Anyway, there were absolutely no grammar and spelling errors so that guarantees you some bonus points. :D The idea of the relationship was completely original and I loved how no one got jealous or anything. The ending was superb! I've been looking for a story with no antagonist, so I'm glad I had the opportunity to read this!

Anyway, please check the contest topic (taboo relationships) on Oct. 8th so see if you won.

Comment Swap brought me here :)
Oh my, this is so intense but so good. I love it. The detail and thought put into this is something to admire! I think that I just might go read some more of your stories. I also like that you made this short and sweet.
Props to you to be able to do that

Comment Swap:

that was amazing. it was so sweet and kind of weird in a good way, but wow. I've never actually read anything like this, it's really original, which I love. I love the layout, it's simple and really doesn't take away from the story at all. It's vague enough for the reader to wonder about their past, but it's not so vague that it makes the reader confused. it's wonderfully written, and I love the title of this.

nicely done. I will be recommending.

I love the way this was written. Beautifully worded and capturing enough eroticism in the relationship without being smutty. It's kind of a taboo subject that you've covered with wonderful imagery through your words and a lot of class. The differences between the characters is clear; the love, the vulnerability and the solidness of the relationship that they all share is displayed perfectly. It's vague, yet says more than enough about each of them and how their lives worked without describing every little detail. I've never read anything like this, and would really love to read some more. You're writing style is very captivating.

Comment Swap brought me here, and I’m very glad it did because I don’t think I would have found this gem without it. If I looked really closely, I might be able to find real flaws with it, but honestly? I don’t really want to break something that was so lovely down to the bare bones like that. It was beautiful, sweet. I love the feeling of vulnerability that you managed to capture from the narrator, but at the same time convey the sense of security that he finds within the relationship and with the others. I like the mundane of every day normal things juxtaposed against the more exotic elements like threesomes or just the polyamory itself. Like, hey, just like every other relationship on the planet The writing was beautiful. It had a great flow and cadence that just wound everything together. There was a certain dreamy quality to it that added to the idyllic feeling of the piece. Just completely fantastic.

Wow. This was just ... wow. Polyamory is an interesting topic, you know, and I've never seen a story concerning it that I've enjoyed, mostly because it's not my preferred method of commitment. It always seems so messy to me, but this entry showed me that it definitely can be beautiful; you absolutely conveyed that. This is perfect, absolutely perfect. There's more I want to say but for some reason I cannot put it into words. Kudos.