Chapter Three. Don't worry I won't keep doing this, haha. Alright, so who is Kayla? What happened with Mason? I am confused.. If you are changing POV's between two people you should notify the readers. But switching back and forth will bore the readers, so you should probably stick to Mason's. Just giving you more advice..
Chapter Three. Don't worry I won't keep doing this, haha. Alright, so who is Kayla? What happened with Mason? I am confused.. If you are changing POV's between two people you should notify the readers. But switching back and forth will bore the readers, so you should probably stick to Mason's. Just giving you more advice..
Chapter two. - I don't understand why I am the only one commenting. I do like this story, and it really draws me in. You have little mistakes besides the ones I mentioned below.
The writing seems very choppy and a bit too fast. Slow down on every event, and make paragraphs, don't separate each and every sentence, it's not attractive to the readers.