He Remains. - Comments

I liked this, well-written, wistful, thoughtful, talking to dead people--that's always good. This piece is a should read for all kids in ninth grade. Maybe every grade every year. We do have about 100% sadness here, it might be interesting to write the story in two ways, in the extra story, everyone lives. Just a thought. My compliments on a nice story. One nitpick:

Pouty lips yet smiling?

And I noticed a comment saying the story is the "best second-person job" they'd ever read. Well, probably should say, "Best first-person job I've ever read."

This is by far the best execution of a second person short story I've ever seen. Not sure if that's what you were going for, but well done! Honestly, I can't think of much i in the way of critiques' the dialogue and prose a re spectacular. the mood and pacing are spot on, and the story itself is hugely interesting! Reading this was a pleasure, and I'd be interested to see other things you write :)

I want you to make this a full chapter story. It is so intriguing and I want to know more. It leaves the reader with a lot of questions at the end of your story that you could totally expand on. I loved it! You put the right amount of detail mixed with the correct amount of thought. I want to know what he needs help with and why he came to her. It seems that he doesn't really know but you could totally expand on that idea in the future! Overall, excellent job!

I totally agree with you and i think you should change this into a full chapter story... this IS Amazing! I want to read more of this and may I say your title brought me right in when the comment swap brought me here. You story layout is a little bland though, a story layout needs to match what the story is sayiNG And i didn't really feel your layout. Other than that it was great. Please turn this into a chapter story.!

I love the description in this, your word choice specifically. The situations you describe are also very realistic.

Chase Yates was dead due to severe head trauma to the head, but oh, are you going to Ryan’s graduation party tomorrow? I liked that line a lot. There's definitely people who act like that, sadly, and that sad bit of truth really added something to the narration of the story, I think.

“Clarissa? I need your help.” You said to me. Your dialogue is written incorrectly. It should be “Clarissa? I need your help,” you said to me.

Overall, good job with this. I'm glad I found it as it was a good read, and I think it would be interesting if you continued with this.

Wow, I adore this story! The summary is short but very effective, and drew me in instantly and the first chapter was gripping throughout. I'd definetely subscribe to this story, and I'd love a continuation. I have to say I'm impressed by this.

This is really really good. The description caught my attention right away, and I'm glad you left it open ended because you should defiantly continue it. I don't know whether you had any mistakes for sure or not, but I didn't see any, so I guess I was to engrossed if there were any. You are a very good writer.