The Road to Nowhere - Comments

WHAT. JUST. HAPPENED. OMG DUDE THAT WAS CRAZY AF.

i was on the edge of my seat reading this chapter. i didn't even expect any of that so, wow, major props to you, cuzzo. i'm so excited for the next update.

i really hope Kate doesn't give up hope! i must know what happens so more soon, please! <3

@ bedussey
Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you like the story.

Okay, so I never say anything about story layouts, but my first reaction when I clicked on this was, "DAMN, that is a nice ass banner." Seriously. The whole layout is really nice but that banner just shines. It looks like a real movie poster omg I love it.

Anyway, I like this story a lot so far. The characters have really distinct personalities already and it's clear that you've spent a lot of time fleshing them out. and I actually laughed at this part: “Fine. I’ll be good, but I’d better get something in return; especially if he’s a tool.” (Ironic considering Liam sounds like quite the tool himself.)

Oh shit, everything seemed to escalate in a split second, which really makes me wonder what exactly set this whole thing off? That thing with Mr. Adler, oh my gosh, as soon as he started grunting and walking towards them, I was silently screaming in my head, "GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD DO NOT HELP THAT MAN" but of course they never listen. It sucks that poor Kara had to go in such an awful way, trying to help someone who'd been close to her. and fucking Liam, I should've expected him to just abandon Kate like that.

I'm glad Kate was able to team up with some other survivors, even though they all had to witness Noah die in such a gruesome way. poor Grace, I can't imagine how devastating that must've been.

This story has really intrigued me and you have a really compelling way of telling it. I know it hasn't been updated in forever, but I'm definitely subscribing!

I've been reading a lot of the zombie/apocalypse stories and I have to say this is one of the better ones that I've found. I was automatically hooked on this. The amount of description you put into it is great and I actually feel how Kate's feeling. Liam leaving like that made me angry and I really want to see how this plays out.

I only read chapter one, but I'm going to start chapter two now. Subbed and rec'd!

I could have sworn I commented on this way back, but obviously not. I have no idea why because the last time I read this, I was absolutely blown away. I've also attempted to re-rec this, but it doesn't seem to be showing up on my page. I have no idea why. Mibba's been weird all day, so hopefully it picks up the act and shows it up later on! But yeah, zombies are right up my alley and so is this story so this comment is probably going to be a little more like an essay than a comment. I apologise in advance.

Content

I like that this starts out so simple and...everyday. It makes everything seem calm right from the get-go, which I love. It gives this eerie idea that something nasty is going to happen, but it's all so wonderfully simplistic and mundane that it gets the guard of the reader up almost instantly.

After changing into some Liam-approved dinner attire - I don't know what it is about this line but it just seems to sum up their relationship so much and it makes me chuckle so much. It really is so simple and everyday and mundane that it makes everything afterwards all that more shocking. Most apocalypse / zombie stories I've read have the reader starting out in the middle of the apocalypse or where the infection is starting, but I love that this story starts it all off over the phone and the way that the characters react to everything they're hearing from Brian and the eventual cutoff of the call. Coupling that with how quickly everything seems to happen, it seems absolutely horrifying and I honestly can't tear my eyes away from the screen at the tail end of the last chapter. The startling difference between the normality of the first half of the first chapter and how everything just seems to go to shit in the second half is startling, worrying and keeps the reader hooked and ready for the next chapter.

I'm so glad that after Liam (what a tosser) left her in the house by herself, Kate found someone to keep her company throughout the course of this thing. The flashback to Noah being taken by the zombies is heartbreaking, I really felt for Grace and little Mason throughout it and also, I feel for Kate towards the tail end too. I had almost forgotten in the chaos that Kara had fallen victim to the zombies as well and it's like a punch in the gut to read the last few sentences. As an older sister myself, I can totally relate to what she's saying: I'd be absolutely distraught if my sister died, especially in a death that violent and horrifying. I think that, even though the action is toned down, chapter two does a really good job of establishing really strong characters and the ties between those characters. I'm interested to see how Grace will factor into the survival plan and how between them, the pair will keep Mason safe.

Concrit

“You heading home, Kate?”

Sophia, one of her closest work friends, asked when Kate passed by her station. - I don't know if this is all supposed to be on the one line? It seems unusual the way it is. Literally the only thing I managed to pick up though. Everything else was spot-on!

Overall

This is absolutely stellar and even though there are about a trillion zombie stories on Mibba, this one seems different and exciting and I'm so buzzing to see where it goes. This is a brilliant start to what I can see being an absolutely incredible story as a whole. Keep up the awesome work!

Hello! I'm here from my comment swap :)

I like the beginning of chapter one. It shows the relationship between the two sisters and makes it hard to believe that what happened later actually happened.

I actually love how you put the drama in the first chapter. It had me at the edge of my seat the whole time and I was very upset at what happened to Kara :( I'm also angry at Liam. If he does come back hopefully he actually found help.

Your descriptions and dialogue are flawless. The dialogue is so normal which is great because it makes your characters sound like normal human beings. I was able to picture everything I read and I could even hear some of the sounds. It sent chills up my spine.

Awww Noah :( That made me sad. And Grace's reaction! My feels! And little Mason :( He seems so cute.

I'm going to subscribe to this. I can't wait to see where you take this!

This is so brilliant so far - you've got this amazing grasp of action and reaction, and when Kate was thinking that if she hadn't been there then Noah would have survived it felt kind of like a punch to the gut. I love zombie stories and this is definitely one of the best I've read on here. I can't wait for more

Awww the beginning was so sad! I felt so bad for poor Kara losing Brian ): I can't even imagine what that's like! Especially since he was able to tell her so little and she didn't really know what was going on. I love how the beginning was very vague and ominous, and gave little insight as to what was going on. It gave me a reason to want to read on and see what was really happening!
I'm sad this is only at 2 chapters! You need to write more soon!

The layout is beautiful. And the story is awesome too! I'm hooked. I can't wait to read more. Your characters are great and the action is paced really well. Great job!

Double Post sorry!

Beautiful layout and banner!

I like the summary, it made me what to see just how that particular group of people would function together in a zombie ridden world.

The first chapter I found very interesting and it was very gripping after the phone call with Brian.

And it was very emotional when Kara was bleeding and Kate was there. I thought it was a very excellent start.

Just a few things I noticed whilst reading the first chapter.

A paragraph or so down from Liam's little shouting bit at the cops, you missed a space between paragraphs. This is just me being all OCD over here, haha.

And I noticed this typo: Liam looked back at the sister’s, and then up toward the sky - the 'sister's' should actually be sisters, because with the apostrophe is possessive, when you want it to be plural.

Liam gave the still-approaching Craig Adler one last look, before turning - while I'm not 100% on this, I don't believe you need a comma after 'look'

This story has a very good start and I really think it's going to get better and better, so keep at it!

happy incredibly belated mibbaween!

okay I really like this mainly because I didn't know it was zombies and I love zombies! The first chapter was so interesting and it kept me hooked the entire time. I think this'll be a pretty good story because who the hell doesn't love zombies? The plot is also just interesting enough and I like how you executed it with introducing the characters first before going into the blood and guts hehehe.

plus I like Liam. He may be an arrogant prick but he sounds like a hot mofo.

first and foremost, this layout is a beautiful work of art. i wish my skills at photoshop were this good, hehe. i also like the summary/premise; it really caught my eye. i love stories that involve very, very different characters somehow banding together to fight against an adversary. very excited to see how this plays out!

i really like the opening sequence with katie and kara; you can tell that they're really close and you've established that part of the story well. liam...i'm not too fond of him right now, what with his snobbery and all. that would put me off a boy in record speed, haha. whoa, i totally did NOT expect that deal that went on with craig adler and those other zombie-monsters (are they called zombies or just monsters for the duration of the stories?) i think i stared at my ipad screen for, like, five minutes with my jaw glued to the floor as I was reading that. wowowowowow. the plot indeed thickens!

i'm so excited to read the rest of this and i'm anxiously waiting for the next chapter. i already recced this out and will be subbing as well. well done! c:

this was really good can't wait for an update

The layout and banner is amazing, first and foremost. Let's talk about Liam. He seems a little weird. I've never exactly read a story where the main character's boyfriend was a pretty boy, so that's something pretty unique. At first I thought he was a tad annoying, but when he said No shit something’s wrong. I’m gonna go inside and see if anyone’s talking on TV. You two should see what the hell is up with your neighbor.” I liked him. He seems like he's a bit of an antagonist.

One thing I noticed is that you seem to tell rather than show. For example, "We have to make sure Craig and Maryanne are okay, Kate. That man and woman have been godsends to us ever since mom and dad-- well, you know..." You're showing, yet you're also telling, that their parents aren't there for one reason or another. I'm not sure if they died, but if they did, you're telling rather than showing. Rather than having Kara say "--well, you know" it would be best to cut her sentence off right as she says "That man and woman have been godsends to us..." That way, it wouldn't have been easy to pick up. Unless you wanted your readers to know right away, then you did a good job. There's no wrong or right when it comes to showing, this is just my personal opinion.

I think you've done amazing with characterization. I especially like the way you characterized Kara before she died. "The older of the two was whimpering softly, but stepped forward anyway to stand next to her sister." If I'm correct and Kara is the eldest (I may have misunderstood the wording of the sentence or missed in the earlier reading), I like that you made her seem as though she's the youngest and naive, walking out to see what was wrong with Mr. Alder.

I'm not too sure what's going to happen next, but bravo! You're doing an excellent job. And I really hate yet love Liam at the same time, I bet you're doing a great job at pulling readers in. I've never read a zombie apocalypse story before but this was awesome!

You're story was very slow in the beginning. Almost to the point where it was boring. However it seemed to have picked up later which I was grateful for. This is a good start, especially with the fact that people are dying, a lot of zombie fics on here again as the person below me stated are under described and the writers have a hard time killing characters off as well as explaining how they suddenly have mad ninja skills to kill all these zombies. All in all a nice little read.

Dear author, first of all I like the layout and the banner. They fit the story perfectly. I don't usually read zombie stories because the writers don't make it realistic enough and its lacking details plus imagery. I was amazed to see that yours isn't lacking. No grammar or spelling mistakes caught my eye and I enjoyed your raw descriptions fully. You have the writing skills to turn this to a masterpiece so keep going. ~Marian.

Dear author, first of all I like the layout and the banner. They fit the story perfectly. I don't usually read zombie stories because the writers don't make it realistic enough and its lacking details plus imagery. I was amazed to see that yours isn't lacking. No grammar or spelling mistakes caught my eye and I enjoyed your raw descriptions fully. You have the writing skills to turn this to a masterpiece so keep going. ~Marian.

Omg I love this! The summary drew me in right away and I just had to read it. Zombies have taken over the town! Oh no! Its weird how everything was normal one minute and then the next it turns into disaster as zombies take over. Poor Kara is dead. They should've known it was zombies just y the way he was acting I knew. Liam is a douchebag and I hoope a zombie eats him lol. I cant believe he left his girlfriend with a bunch of zombies I mean seriously dude whars wrong with you? I hope that Kate will be ok. I love this so much! You are a great writer keep it up! I will be anxiously awaiting the next update.

Hola. :3 I chose this one because I love apocalypse stories. Usually people start zombie stories (out of the ones I've read) by reflecting on how it happened, but you started on something that was actually pretty normal, which surprised me. My first impression is that this is probably going to be pretty different from some that I've read. Which excited me, yay. (Oh and I love your layout, just thought I should mention).

This may be a weird thing to comment on, but your dialouge is really realistic. Some people have really amazing plot lines and descriptions, but when I read the dialouge it sounds really awkward and choppy and that detracts from the story. But yours was really good, and coupled with lovely (albeit nauseating) descriptions such as this:

"The man suddenly let out loud, ravenous growl, and dove forward, burying his teeth in Kara’s neck with a sickening tearing noise."

Makes it a really fantastic read. :D

"That horrible tearing sound began again, and Kate screamed at the sight before her; Mr. Adler, feasting on Kara and ripping her open from the inside out."

This had to be my favourite excerpt. It made me a little sick to my stomach but at the same time apprehensive, because the story's really hit off now! :) I've subscribed and reccommended it, update soon.