Asylum - Comments

Personally, the story is hard to read. The background, the font color, and everything else made it difficult to read. I do like the story though. and it seems like there are a lot of commas in the story, which is fairly distracting for a reader. It's pretty good! Are you gonna be continuing it, at all? because if you are, I'd love to read the rest of it!

Your story's layout was exceptionally chilling!
Now, getting onto the story, I think it was great! The plot was very nice and definitely had potential.
I have to agree with Sabina Tanzola below me, sometimes I felt there were a bit too many hyphens and it made it a bit distracting for me to read, but overall I really enjoyed it! :)
Great job with this!

Wow, I've never read a story like this on this website. I don't know what to say. This is extremely well done! Just the kind of story that I like to read. For as much as I loved it, there were some things that took me out of the story at times. For one, you added a little too many - and they confused me. Also, as an end, it was awesome but just for the last sentence, I feel like you could have not added it. The readers would already understand that she never left the asylum. I'm also a little confused by the doctor's at the asylum. You could have definitely put some back up. Were they trying to get pregnant? Did they have a good relationship before? How did she end up with a psychologist? Just some things to think about. :) You can add the background as an introduction. This could definitely be expanded and possibly made into a movie.

Hello,I'm here from comment swap. :) That being said,I came into your story not knowing what it was about until I saw that it was. THat being said,I really liked your story! It flowed easily and right away you are drawn into what is happening. I've never read a story like this before and was so happy with it! You're great at being descriptive,and you had everything perfect. You're a very talented writer,and I can't wait to see what else you put out. :)

My mind has just been f*cked. Seriously. I've never read a horror story before, and this one was enticing without being too difficult to read (I really don't do well with scary stories/ movies/ etc.). The ending was so surprising, I didn't expect it at all! You did a good job of keeping the reader interested and the plot had so many layers but wasn't too confusing. Overall, very well done.

comment swap;
Holy &^*&$^%$! This is the first horror story I have ever read, fully. Wow! I was never able to read horror stories because it would get too gorey and then I didn't want to read it anymore. Wow, great job! Great job! You have a talent for this. :)

Holy damn! There are no words to explain how amazing and horror filled this story was! I loved everything about this, from all the detail to Brian. The image and song you picked fit perfectly and again it turned out awesome.

The end.... damn the end! It left me speechless and saying 'what'. I even thought she had left the damn asylum. That part got me. All the detail again... just wow. Gosh do you mind if I save this? I want to read it forever! I knew someone would make a great story out of the image of the forest, and you did that. Once again this entry was freaking amazing! And again I am so speechless! Great entry, great plot wow. Good job!