Cheating Death - Comments

The ending was a huge surprise for myself and others, I'm assuming of it. Great entry, very original and well written. Really enjoyed reading this entry, and even though Brian don't get away with it, I really loved this. I loved the last few words Death told Brian, really gave me chills and a smirk. Great job!

Wow what an intense ending! I actually thought he might somehow get away with it, but that hope you wrote was false. I'm not disappointed at all, though. I really enjoyed the last chapter and the last line was great. :)

This is getting good.... :)

That was awesome. Really intense, from the hell hounds circling him to Dean and Sam showing up. Really liked this chapter, and can't wait for more :)

For dialogue, you should write it like: "Bobby Singer," he said. - so no capital for the "he" and a comma instead of a full stop.

A tip you could try to do to improve your writing is to start each sentence with a new word. It's a bit tedious to read "He did this. He did that. He thought this." over and over, so try and change things up a bit :)

Not too long, they have reached a property. - you suddenly changed tense here - "had" not "have". Be sure to double check everything before you post :)

This is just such a minor thing, but I'm very certain that Brian is shorter than Dean/Jensen. I'm just too much of a fan of both of them.... :)

I really liked this chapter, and I'm really keen to know what's going to happen next. It could really go in so many directions. Update soon please!

That was great! The boys and Bobby always out to help. Bobby can never be too careful. Great update.

Great start! Very into this now, I can picture the whole scene in my head it's wonderful, to that I say good job!

I like,I like :D! I'll like to know how things are going to get along :3 Update soon :D

That was a great start and I'm really intrigued to see where you take this story. :)

The only thing I can point out is that there were errors with the dialogue (full stops instead of commas) and occasionally there were small typos like "in" instead of "on". But you know, minor things. It was still good writing :)