Write Me A Sin - Comments

I love that you have Ben's conscience as the narrator! It's a really interesting stance to see everything from and I don't think I've ever read something with a conscience as a narrator, so it was a refreshing and lovely way to go about things. I also, again, like the fact that you've used a song and made it quite literal. I can almost imagine the video for I Write Sins playing out as I read, which is quite interesting. I also liked the idea of your best friend being your conscience. Your friends often have a lot of the same likes and dislikes as yourself, so I think that's actually a really interesting and plausible idea. Ben's conscience seems really catty though. Definitely into revenge, haha! I really enjoyed the end, it did honestly seem like the perfect revenge. I've read about things like this happening at actual weddings where the groom has outed a cheating bride (or the other way around) so it's nice to see that being used in a story. Again, this could have used a little bit more description, but your basic premise is so good that it didn't matter as much. Definitely very original!

I'll be announcing the winners later on tonight, so good luck!

I did enjoy. I loved the way you put the lyrics into the story, fit them in in that way, made it into pieces of the dialogue and so on, oh, it was lovely. Shame I'm the first comment, you'd think it'd have more. It's lovely.

Hmm, anyway, I really like this, and I believe this is in a contest? Good luck! :) (I laughed at a few parts in the story, but the main one I can remember is when Marissa was mentioned and her dress was described. XD "Once a whore, always a whore. Even on her wedding day.")