Silence - Comments

I honestly thought I wouldn't like this, but the first chapter got me hook, line, & sinker!! I love it! :)

I love the fact that you wrote a great story that is based on the hunger games and isn't TOO much like any divergent spoof/fanfic.
I love that it is before katniss but is related to her in a shadowed way. it is beautiful

I love the fact that you wrote a great story that is based on the hunger games and isn't TOO much like any divergent spoof/fanfic.
I love that it is before katniss but is related to her in a shadowed way. it is beautiful

It's so hard to come across a Hunger Games story that is well written. And I am so glad that I came across this one from comment swap!!!!!

I am personally a huge fan of HG stories that are before Katniss and the revolution. I love that you made Raven from district 10 and not 1, 4, or 12 like a lot of other stories and I love the fact that you made her parents really closed off to her after her brother died in the games (So. Sad.) instead of making them really...what's the word...close?

Only suggestion is try putting double space between paragraphs and dialogue throughout the whole chapter instead of only parts. Otherwise it looks kind of cluttered.

Anyway...can't wait to read more!!

*comment swap* first I must say I don't know much about hunger games sadly I've only seen the movie. next. you background is very warm and inviting ur summery is very well done. I like how detailed and descriptive u are as well. Keep writing. your very talented

@ Wispy
Hey, thanks for the comment! My comment swap isnt actually working, so what piece is it that I'm supposed to read? And I've actually finished the story now! I can send you a link if you're interested? Its on Wattpad!

*Comment Swap*
My very first reaction at reading the summary was 'Here we go again, another HG fan-fic' but now that I read the first chapter I'm just...asdfghjkl. Oh my gosh I love this! I'm a huge fan of the Hunger Games, but I hate fan fiction that just ties in with the original story. Something about it just urks me. Which is what makes your story all the better. You get all original and make your own characters with their own stories and aahh I just love this story <3 Keep writing and update soon!! {btw, I recommended and subscribed ;)}

Hi! I was sent here by comment swap and although your writing is great, this story isn't really my cup of tea, as I'm not a hunger games fan. Sorry! Anyways you're very descriptive which is awesome and you use tins if great imagery. Keep the good work up!

oh my gosh.. I just finished reading the whole story. can you please, please update soon? I really REALLY want to know what happens!

Okay... I only read the first chapter and I already LOVE it! I’m a huge fan of the Hunger Games, and this is by far the best fan fic Hunger Games story I have ever read. You’re a really good writer (:

Ps. Be sure to check out my story, Lonely Girl, if you’d like. I just finished it, and I’ve been dying for some feed back!

Down with the Capitol!
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First of all, there are two things you should know; I'm from comment swap and I love the Hunger Games. I only read the first chapter as I'm short of time but it seems awesome so far so I'll definitely subscribe and read the rest. Your spelling is good (unlike mine) and it's really detailed so far. Keep up the great work

First off, Your layout is okay but could be neater. What I mean by that is I had a little trouble reading the text because the background image was so detailed. Maybe if you wanted to, look at some other story layouts people have and go from there, while keeping it original and true to your story. The summary was good, but I think by telling the readers Raven wins, it defeats the purpose of reading your story.

First Chapter: I like how it goes straight in to a story and is strong. The sensory details are great and I can really feel like I'm there/ the characters are real to me. I like the little bit how you describe her eyes (i.e. how they have changed, what they used to be like). Though it was good how you jumped straight into action, I think it went a little too fast; slow it down and maybe add a little more to your descriptions to paint an image with your words, and also if you went into more detail on her family and relationships with others, it would flow nicer.

Chapter Two: I find her and Logan's relationship adorable and spunky. Yay, haha. But, I was a little confused (in this chapter, and chapter one) with the flashback. If you used better transitioning, or maybe italicized the text of the flashback, readers would understand hat better.

Chapter Three: How you described the past victors is incredible. I really felt bad for Drew and wanted to just give him a hug, haha. Ugh, when Raven and Logan got called I was EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED. I KNOW THAT'S THE POINT OF A STORY BUT IT'S NEVER PLEASANT. (That's a compliment. I'm not hating on you or anything!)I also admire how Raven is not sad or upset, but has a lot of resentment with Logan.

Chapter Four: The goodbyes were heartbreaking. Especially Eddie's , I nearly cried! Also, oH MY GOD THEY MIGHT GET MARRIED LIKE WHAT

Chapter Five: Poor Logan and Raven. The way you write the Capitol people/ paparazzi is spot on. Good job!

Overall, from what I've read, this is a really good story. You could improve on little things, but other then that I have no major issues. Though I will warn you that Logan and Raven's relationship strongly resemble Katniss and Peeta's relationship. I don't know if you were going for that, but that may or may not be a good thing.

I just found this story and I love it =)

I love the characters! Raven is one of the only Hunger Games original characters that I'm actually rooting for! Most OC are annoying and you just want to scream at them! I don't get that with your characters though, which makes me even more attached to this story. Please, keep it up!

She's pissed that humanity has fallen so low that watching children kill each other is actually entertainment.
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I love the hunger games and this story is really good! I suppose all I can say is keep up the good work! You have used lots of description, can spell and have been creative.

Oh and P.S:

I agree that a personalized layout always helps :)

So comment swap sent me and honestly I've never read any of the Hunger Games or seen the movie, but I really really like this.

In my opinion the characters are very likeable and well rounded, though I haven't read the book so I wouldn't know if they were similar to the book's characters.

Some of the narration comes off as a bit rushed or changes tone rather suddenly, but that's really the only complaint I can come up with.

I very much like Raven's dilemma with having feelings for Logan and fearing his death, as well as being engaged to Eddie. But it's very interesting because does it even matter if she's going to die? I don't know how I would feel and all the emotions involved come across very well I think.

Anyway, I'm subscribed and eager for me. Very nice job so far.

Hey, comment swapper here :D

-- First off I think a personalised layout will instantly attract a reader more..

You're writing is easy to follow and I cant see any mistakes in the first couple of chapters and although I'm not a big hunger games fan I really enjoyed what I read although as someone said below the main characters are similar to those in the book.

Awe good score yay!
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