Blinded in Chains - Comments

Love it, damn u Zacky they were about to have amazing sex but I'm kinda glad u cockblocked becuz they r moving kinda fast but thts Jimmy for yea if he likes someone he is goin to go for it, can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)

Jimmy's so cute :3 update soon? :D

oh dear lord zacky you cockblocker!! hahahahahahahah but damn jimmy sure moves fast!! aawe he likes the curves!! awesome!! <3

totally fab story...
can't wait to read the next chapter!
:)

awe i love it and i feel bad for jimmy but i love the story idea and i cant wait for you to update love it :)

I agree with the person below, I generally won't read a story that doesn't have a layout. It's bad, but I do judge books by their covers completely *shrugs* I need it to be aesthetically pleasing.
Other than that I really like your writing style, everything flows nicely and it's just really nice to read. There were some grammatically and spelling errors but not so much that it took away from anything.
So overall I really like where this is going and think you're off to a good start.

Comment swap.
First thing first, your layout is plain. Maybe you should think about making or using a custom layout for your story. I only say this because I know a lot of people will click on the link for your story, and if they don’t like the layout for your story, they will exit.

I feel like your summary gives everything that you write away. You need to space it out and not include all of the major details in one little paragraph.

In your first chapter, you have gotten off to a good start. The first two paragraphs for your introduction is very well done and that is really important because if someone doesn’t like your first few chapters, they most probably won’t enjoy your story, although, after the first two paragraphs, you have a sentence describing who she was and that kind of ruined it for me.

I feel like you’re jumping into the story way to fast. You could have included a lot more detail to when she got hit by the skater and you also could have got a bit more introduction to her all of a sudden looking after Jimmy.

Other than all that I love the idea of your story, it’s unique and I’m going to keep reading to see what will happen :)

I love this! I can't wait to read more of it. :)

omg, i can't stop laughing. I can just picture Matt looking stunned like a rabbit caught in headlights when Carly told him where to go - haha. And priceless... caught looking down her t-shirt too .... busted.

Mama bear - hahaha. Gotta love Jimmy

*snorts* oh gosh Matt, should keep his eyes on her face and not down the neckline of the t-shirt.. pmsl!! mama bear.. this chapter was all kinds of awesome <3 totally get matt and brian's first reactions BUT she wouldn't have it.. wooh!!
“She literally fell at my feet, sex God that I am.” -oh jimmy <3

and the gif... gosh!! he's so frickin' YUMMY in beast and the harlot *swoons*

Tht picture of Jimmy is fucking sexy as hell mmm....(I had to watch the music video to see the picture personally lol) oh shit Carly ain't no punk got big bad Matt speechless lol but hey thts what he gets for assuming when he don't kno shit...."Wow, my mama bear's got claws" hilarious and soo Jimmy lol hopefully tht will teach Matt a lesson and have him warn the others before they get the same treatment as him lol, can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)

Loved it.

omgomgomgomg you have to update soon i love it so far :D

I love this. Totally love Carly as she could be me - I'm so clumsy and accident prone - haha

Plus Jimmy is so freaking cute.. who wouldn't want hugs from him

More please x

this is an amazing story :) luv it

oh seriously.. i have this huge goofy smile right now..!! jimmy is such a big cutie!! chapter 2 and i'm totally in love with this story <3
AND HE KISSED HER ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooooooooooooooooooooh!! hahah can't wait for when Matt and Brian shows up

I'm a little curious on how Carly looks like, and ooo la la already at the kissin stage Jimmy thts a lil too soon don't u think lol, Jimmy is a sweetheart but I hope tht he can take the bandages off his eyes becuz if he hears bad news thn he will be devastated and not being able to play :( can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)

I'm a little curious on how Carly looks like, and ooo la la already at the kissin stage Jimmy thts a lil too soon don't u think lol, Jimmy is a sweetheart but I hope tht he can take the bandages off his eyes becuz if he hears bad news thn he will be devastated and not being able to play :( can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)

I'm a little curious on how Carly looks like, and ooo la la already at the kissin stage Jimmy thts a lil too soon don't u think l

okay this first chapter had me smirking like a fool
talk about real bad luck, turning awesome just like that no wonder jason is a bit, grumpy, i'd totally be the same way.. and jimmy.. so cute!