Today I Will - Comments

Your use of words : AMAZING! It's almost like poetry but you're telling a detailed story in only a few hundred words. I liked the peach sack part. I don't know why, I think because I didn't understand it at first but then I was like "Oh, they mean their skin...because they're white." I am so glad that comment swap brought me here and I have absolutely nothing negative to say here.

I am so glad that comment swap sent me here. your way with words is absolutely stunning. you tell us practically nothing at all, and yet, manage to weave this incredible story. the descriptive language was so beautifully done it seemed real. it was almost like you (the reader) was in the story; able to see the bones, the door, everything! it's so quiet, and yet, it says so much. it's haunting, really. that's the word. haunting. like an instrumental songs that you can't get out of your head. it leaves way more questions than answers, but something about all the loose ends makes it even more incredible. it's like reality. you never know for sure. overall, just an absolutely lovely piece. aboslutely lovely.

This was absolutely beautiful; poetic, almost. I love the metaphor of seeing her bones and finding her skin, and the idea that it is an active process and one that must be completed before living.
I also love the anonymity of the author and the people it involves. We do not know anything about them, whether they are male, female, a brother, a mother, a child. We don't know anything about Tom or their Mother, except the little hints that you scatter throughout your piece. And it's just enough.
The only thing that didn't work perfectly for me was a few grammar problems. I think it would be worth looking at places to use a semi-colon instead of a comma, or even a full stop. Otherwise this was flawless, and I loved it to pieces!

There was something about this that almost reminded me of a poem. The way it flowed, and the way things were describe, how he was going to find his skin and put it on, and hw he saw the yellowness of his bones. It was like a creepy poem, and it sent a shiver up my spine. It's complete and perfect how it is, though I'm so interested in the mother and Tom and who they are. Why this person is trapped in the house. It's all like one big metaphor.

Amazing job. I don't think I've ever seen a story this short that has such an impact. Your ability in writing is quite superb. Beautifully done:)

Oh wow. This was actually a little haunting. The layout is simple and beautiful. Your writing is great, I couldn't find one thing to fault which makes me feel like I'm not doing a great job as a commenter. The metaphor of her being bones, needing to find her skin, is just perfect to sum up how she feels. I seriously love this. I am assuming it is a one-shot because it works so well as one, but assumption are dangerous things to make. Mozel tov!

I like how you made the story as though it were someone writing a letter or writing in a diary.
The writing is beautiful. I like the way you describe the yellow bones and talk about finding a skin left around. It is really deep and moving and I like that you used those descriptions to get your point across. This story is amazing!

Comment swap brought me here. This story is so beautiful. But it does sound like a poem like some people have said below. Obviously its not a bad thing cause its still awesome :3
Sorry for spamming your story... obviously didn't write enough

Comment swap brought me here. This story is so beautiful. But it does sound like a poem like some people have said below. Obviously its not a bad thing cause its still awesome :3

Wow, that's about all I have to say that was just wow. It was so amazingly beautiful :) You’re an amazing write and the structure of the story was awesome. It makes you think about how lucky most people are and how other’s take things for granted, that may not have been the point to it but it made me think about that none the less :) I just had to re-read it ^.^

I'll start off with the layout. Although pretty simple and a lot nicer than a bunch of stories I have gotten in Comment Swap I am a little disappointed by the lack of creativity the colors bring. I feel like they don't match at all the actual picture. In fact, the purple for the links I find to be distracting in the summary area.

Your story on the other hand is absolutely brilliant. I could relate to it in every sense of the word. I found it to be enchanting, sweet, and the perfect length. I love the way each paragraph begins, it gives it such a poetic flow. You did a beautiful job with this.

Your imagery writing is really, really, good! But I agree with the people below, it does sound like a poem. Not that that's a bad thing (I do it sometimes to for fun :3 ), But I would like to get some more info on exactly what the storyline is. I dunno, I could just be getting greedy. Anyway, all in all it's a good first chapter. Good job! :3

Wow, that's about all I have to say that was just wow. It was so amazingly beautiful :)

This is beautiful, it sounds more like a poem. More inside a head, instead of dialog. But also it's depressing. Not really, depressing, but sad? :3 Anyway, it's extremely good and I like the writing teqnique. (Hopefully I spell that right. O_O) :3 Goodjob!

This was beautiful. Great job :)