You Were - Comments

I think that this was really cute. I loved how you described some things and this association, there were things in this world that could break me, make me feel like nothing, but I knew I was safe with Jade. that made me smile. I feel like if people are going to write fluffy romances, they should incorporate something or anything about the fact that being with their lovers makes them feel safe. I feel as though lately this point as been lacking in a lot of stories and i'm glad you bought it up, I think it's a big thing, especially in this kind of relationship, at least to me.

Their relationship was so adorable and cute, especially the fact that they were so playful with each other. One thing I noticed was here, ‘Don’t you think we should get up Lucy?’ there should be a comma before Lucy and after up but that's all. c: I really liked this.

The plot line for this story is so cute, perfect for a drabble. It accomplishes everything it sets out to. Besides a few grammatical errors you should check, I would just suggest going through the narration and paying attention to flow. Some parts seemed slightly choppy.

Everything else was great! I love how open the character's personalities seem and how easily I feel connected to them. Even more so since the name Jade is special to me. Great story :D

I thought that this was so sweet. I am a sucker for a short story, and your style seems familiar for some reason. Maybe it is just deja-vu. There are a few missing commas and semi-colons, but other than that it was great. You have a gift. C'est super.

- Through comment swap.

Oh, this was adorable! I was smiling the entire way through and at times, I felt I could feel some of their love. You wrote their emotions so well and described the scene perfectly. It doesn't have much in the way of structure or plot but it doesn't seem to need any. It was so sweet and I adored the characters.

There were a few things that could be improved on...

Jade was quite the opposite, she’d stay up so late that she’d kiss the sun good morning, and then snooze her blonde head through to the afternoon. - The first comma should be a semi-colon. I absolutely love the 'kiss the sun good morning' part.

I could hear every bird singing, every breath of wind muttered her name, and everything made sense. - I think the first comma should be a semi-colon OR the word 'muttered' should be 'muttering'.

But that's it. This is so short and amazing. Usually, I'd leave a longer comment but I'm afraid I don't have much more to say. Good luck with the contest!

This was really cute. It gave me butterflies a few times. You're a really good writer. There weren't any grammar or spelling issues that stood out to me. The bits of humor were adorable. I wish there was a bit more of a plot to it though. Good luck on the contest!

Awww. This story is so adorable! Not only is it well-written, but it is also incredibly sweet and to the point. I love that you can almost feel the love between them burrowed deep inside your heart. I love the little bits of humor you added in there. It keeps the story light and lovely. Great job! -A

Adorable.

The writing is spectacular and flows really nicely. I'm not positive what the plot is supposed to be, there doesn't really seem to be an ending or anything to this. It just kind of stops. But even so, the story is beautiful. Good luck on the contest!