On the Edge - Comments

Also don't tell me this was a one-shot because I seriously want more.

Oh my fucking God. Sorry for swearing but that's the kind of story I was looking for. Don't you dare give up on this story because I honestly love it to bits right from the start.
Brilliant writing. I love the concept and your writing style is superb. Your flow and description use is near flawless and that's hard to find these days where both compliment each other so well. The dialogue flows very nice.
I am intrigued to find out what happens with the characters and how they develop. The way you write can definitely captivate someone. This idea is new and different.
I absolutely love the world you are creating. I really enjoyed reading this and I am quite excited waitng for more chapters. :)
I recommend this and I'm subscribing :)

First thing, the grey letters is just a little bit too dark. It's hard to read against the darker grey background. Maybe try a shade or two lighter..?
Second thing, the word Atheist made me so happy. That was honestly the first thing I read and I knew I'd enjoy the story. There are many stories out there that are about the other end of religion and I think it's great that you make a point that your character is religious.
On that note, I really hope you don't turn this into a fanfiction. I'd love to continue reading it, and I think the first chapter is marvelous without it being fanfic. Try something new, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, but with what you have so far I think you'd have an amazing original fiction if you tried.