Within Jigsaw - Comments

Are we ever going to get the re-write for this or should I take it off my subs list?

I just read the first two chapters, and this is exactly what I was talking about. Not only is it in a unique fandom, but it also has characters that aren't in there teens / early twenties, that are written well. Its not like theyre teens trapped in an adults body, which usually happens. Thanks for sharing

Honestly, I horror junkie. I've read Steven King novel after Steven King novel and seen too many gory movies to count.
And I must say, this is definatley up there among my favorite works. The descriptions in this are lovely and the way you write the mind of your character is engaging. You captured her emotions of fear and panic very well.
This was a very good read. Bravo!

Ah, this is amazing! I didn't realize how much I missed reading this story until you started posting it again.

Your style of writing in this is a bit too wordy for my taste – well, "wordy" isn't exactly what I mean; I think it's that you describe things less directly than I would? – but anyway, despite that, I found both chapters really gripping and read them in one sitting which I rarely do on the computer. I've always been interested in the psychological aspects of the Saw films but I've never seen them 'cause I don't think I could deal with the visual gore, so I'm very interested in this. I think you've done a really excellent job dealing with Caitlin's emotions. I love how part of her wants to be really badass and resistant and escape, but she knows how weak she is in this situation and how little she'll really be able to do. The whole thing feels so vivid. Subscribing was a good choice on my part. :3

Comment swap!
This is a fantastic beginning! You are a very prestigeous writer. Everything is so detailed. It's like I'm right there with Caitlin. I do encourage you to re-read and fix some of those grammar errors. But other than that, this piece is perfect! :)

This opening chapter is extremely interesting. Your description of her thought process is very well thought out and developed. All her feelings and emotions feel realistic. I know nothing about the Saw movies, which I think helps build the suspense for me. I really like the layout too. I think I will subscribe to this. :)

I like the opening paragraph a lot. You use a lot of unsettling images, and I think that sets the right tone for the story.

You use a lot of mental action in this opening and focus on the thoughts of the Caitlin a lot, and seeing as how she's in a dark basement, I really like that. She's literally and physically trapped in her head, forced to think about things like if she was raped or if someone wants money.

"When I moved in I noticed the leak, and angrily I tried to get someone to fix it more me"

Fix it for me?