The Zombie Reaper - Comments

Two things for this chapter:
I KNEW HE COULDN'T BE TRUSTED!!!
And...
"When you have helped me kill them all, Silence,
Then you have my permission to die."
Oh gods. My life. Now I'm making Batman references xD

Another random comment:
AHHH NO LYNUEL AND ALL MY FEELS AND AJOEIFJ
(Chapter 7)

Quick comment to say that the fifth chapter is absolutely beautifully written and kind of heartbreaking and very wow. Breathtaking.

I gave up on trying to write so I'm reading xD YAY!
Mother Eurydice... I enjoy references.
Hmmm... when you introduce Nicholas... is there anything else that marks him as being "impressive"? Anything about his appearance or his stature? Because I don't get quite the whole effect. But I liked his speech, so that kind of redeemed it xD
...just so you know, I love all of their titles. Yeah.
This line: "It was Lynuel's turn for his cheeks to blaze with color. He could only thank his darker coloring from hiding it better than most." gives me SUCH a good image. He's really kind of unusual, you know? Of course you do, but yeah xD
IT'S LIKE HIS NAME WAS DRAWN FROM THE GOBLET OF FIRE!! xDDD

A few simple corrections:
Silence still the room Silence stilled the room, you mean?
our methods are questioned as is our faith. There should be a comma after "questioned."
Who, I am sworn to secrecy to not say. This sentence doesn't quite sit right with me. Maybe combine it as is with the sentence before, or reword it?
I would be jealous of you Lynuel, There should be a comma after "you."
“To the right my son,” Should be a comma after "right."
Lynuel was the last to enter the room. The seven other men stood around the room, The repetition of "the room" is unnecessary, so maybe change up the word choice?
“Show some respect boy,” he ordered. “Lynuel is a high rank than you Should be a comma after "respect" and do you mean "higher rank"?
“Well said young one,” comma after "said."
time to argue nor bicker should be "or bicker." You only use nor if it's, "neither ___ nor ___"
None of them laughed. They knew it was true. Though the order was a religious one, it was one of the most secretive orders in the world. No one spoke of their secrets unless they wished to die. No one in this room appeared to have that wish. This bit seems kind of... I dunno. Trite, I guess. It's too, "this, so this, so this" to me. I think the dialogue itself is serious enough that you don't need it, honestly.

The other thing is there isn't a real... ending to the chapter. A closing. I feel like even a final comment from Lynuel would make it more tied together.

But overall, I like the feel of the chapter. It's dark and confusing, which is, I'm sure, what you're going for. Sorry for letting my inner comma nazi attack you.

Yay, first comment! xD
OMFG HE'S GINGER YESSSSSSS
Sorry, that just made me wayyyy too happy.

But, ahem, the story. That's the important part, yet? I love it. This is only the prologue, and you've achieved in making me believe in this world right from the get-go. It's super realistic and interesting and... yeah. I also enjoy that his name is Lynuel. It makes me think of Charlie Brown xD And now ideas for crossover spring to mind...
Back to business. I also enjoy the layout, but that's because it's my colors xD And this priesthood... it's the star of the "Read me! READ ME!" for me. I love corruption Well, not love it, but I love writing about it, and reading about it when it's good. And this is good already.
Only one tiny mistake, and that's: “Are they?” he asked. “Than how have should be a then, not than. Other than that, I didn't see anything.

WOMAN write more so I can read it xD