Secretary for Office of Schedules - Comments

Hi! I'm here from Comment Swap. So I first read through the chapter and noticed several grammar and spelling mistakes. I would definitely recommend beta-ing this story to get help with that.

Secondly, I wanted to make sure that I wasn't jumping ahead of myself and judging the story based off one chapter, so I went to read the summary. This is what I found: "I handle the chedules. That's how everything is mannaged." Two misspelled words in a summary that is supposed to entice readers in to your story... see where I'm going with this?

I think this story can definitely be interesting once you've cleaned up your writing a bit! Best of luck (:

You misspelled schedule once in your summary and forgot the t on the "the." Just a heads up!

I'm noticing you've got a few extra commas just splotched around in random places in the first chapter; you could easily kill some of them and make your sentences run a little smoother.

I do love your MC's name, its very original, and it has a nice ring to it. I also love that he's passionate about what he does, and enjoys helping. I like that you've tied it to your other story as well; I think that's always a clever move that most readers are going to enjoy. Best of luck with this!

That is a very interesting name he has. But I agree with the other person, I can't get used to your writing style...and I honestly don't know what the stories about :I Maybe work on your description a little more...but on the bright side, your grammar is very good! :3 I'm sure there's someone who will really like the story. And who knows, maybe it'll get better as it goes on^^

Another great idea! Funny I stumbled across you again. I like the idea, although, again I don't enjoy the writing style but that's alright because you can't have all lovers and no haters. I'm sorry if I am hurting your feelings and I apologise for any further harm I may do, due to the fact I am completing the 'comment swap' at the moment.