Summer Nights in Tokyo - Comments

So far, so good!

However, you do have some minor fluency issues such as your use of the "Cricket.. Cricket..." you can see there are two dots for the first one and three for the one after. You should look back and correct that to the amount of periods you were going for. You also have some capitalization problems, more so with the second chapter than the first.

Other than that you have an interesting little tale going on! Keep it up! :D

So far, the story is great. I like how many dialogues there are because that make us, the reader, feels like interacting also with the character/s. I'm not going to pinpoint the problem here because the three comments below me already did, so just do that to the following chapters. Hope to read more! :)

I really like this. I first want to comment on your layout. It is very light and pretty AND its enjoyable. I agree witht the commetn below me and think that you should space out the dialogue. I really enjoye readING> Keep writing. Maybe you should try writing a book about something like this.

This is very good :) I like where you're going with it, the only thing I suggest is spacing out the dialogue so it is easier to read and decipher who is speaking other than that this is fantastic! Keep it up :)

This seems like a great story so far! I like the idea and its well written. The only thing i suggest is that you start a new paragraph each time the dialogue switches people. It makes it easier to read and helps clarify exactly who is talking.