Daih'mon - Comments

Your writing is very intriguing, holding a lot of dept in between each word. My only critique would be the layout, the colors are bit offsetting to the actual vibe of your piece. Other than that, great job!

This is very interesting. However, I'm not a big fan of the color scheme (personal preference I suppose.) The way it is written is kind of confusing, the way it is worded. Grammatical errors are common, I make them all the time and don't realize until someone points it out or I reread it a week or so later. Always go back and edit or have someone read it for you. Anyways, keep on writing!

Examining the duality, of self and spirit. Who you are, and what your destiny have in store.

I really like this line. I really wish your layout was different. The layout suffisticates th mood of the story and I felt that your layout made your story stray away. Other than THAt I love IT> Keep up the good work.

i like your line "it's self sufficient all of it's own, from the start, in an infant way, maturing." i can't get over it, and an idea would maybe to elaborate more on how it's maturing? i feel like maybe going into things a little bit more would definitely benefit your story, but overall i like what you have so far. good luck with your story (and like someone said below, the only grammar mistake i saw was changing noone to no one)

This is a very interesting set up and something that has so much potential. I've read a few of your other stories through comment swap and I'd have to say so far that this flows much more smoothly than the last thing I read - which I think was "John Doe." The idea is original and I hope to see you expand on it. I don't see a lot of errors except for one I think I've seen you make before but I'm not sure if I've seen anyone else correct it. "No one" should be two words instead of "noone." That's about it.

Ahh comment swap is being annoying ._.

"This was interesting. I really think you should work on your layouts though. A few grammar issues you need to work out but overall good work, Sadie J. Blue xxx" is what I said last time, so lets add more... hmmm like I said, I found this interesting but I would have liked to see more detail, try to work on painting a picture with words. Also, I'm a person naturally interested in spirit and destiny and what it actually is so I would have liked to have seen that a little more explain in relation to your story.

This was interesting. I really think you should work on your layouts though. A few grammar issues you need to work out but overall good work, Sadie J. Blue xxx