Oasis Is Home - Comments

This was a super interesting story! I really enjoyed your voice in this, it's a writing style I don't often see and thought was well done for the most part. I would just take some time to thoroughly edit so that grammatical or punctuation errors don't take away from the story. Keep writing! Great job!

I love how you used the Oasis as a symbol for Mibba. I loved all the metaphors you used to write this. It was very beautiful and had great imagery. I like how you put old Mibba on this pedestal, and talked about its decay. Because old mibba had been decaying and new mibba was the savior. This was really amazing, its hard to believe that it was even written about Mibba, you have a way with words.

Recc'd. (:

I absolutely loved this. The whole thing is just one great metaphor, and it's so true. I think the way you worded things and described the way things changed between the people and the setting itself was excellent. I love the way you write!

I wasn't one of the members that was upset with the new Mibba by any means, but I saw contention all over the forums about it. I think you definitely portray the reality of our own interactions as individual members and as a community.

Great job. (:

I'm recommending this because I think it's a great first chapter, I hope you update soon, I'm going to subscribe too. I think it's a really good start to a story that looks as if it could have a bit of potential, please update real soon!

Interesting and understandable. I like it, I like the feelings it portrays. It's just so accurate. Things certainly aren't quite the same around here, and for those of us that have been here a while it truly is hard to adjust in some ways.

This was a very lovely metaphor overall and it seems like you've put a lot of thought into it. I can't really find any errors, which is unusual but I'm not complaining. Good luck with this! :)

This is a very poetic story.
there where places where i got a bit confused, not sure what was being referred to, but over all i felt like i was reading a sort of very long, very detailed poem =p
Overall very nice, the ending was sweet and hopeful, for a moment i thought it was going to end sadly, with the person walking off again. im glad it did not end that way =)
Hope you do well in the contest ^^

Awwww...A new mibba brought me here, but it was a sweet love story of sorts for the nostalgia of old mibba.

You conveyed a great deal of poetic imagery into the story and I was impressed at your continuation of the metaphors without sounding campy or redundant. Vocabulary wise, you have a good hold of what I like to call "the correct word at the correct time" which isn't to say that your word choice is huge and selective, or small and limited, rather it's just right for your intentions and doesn't leave me wanting or drowned by unnecessary bigness or character.

Good job on the story, and I hope you place in the contest. Good luck!