A Road I've Never Been Down - Comments

I like that you decided to write the prologue in second person and then write the rest in third, especially with making the prologue a letter as well. It kind of set the ton for the story and made me excited for what's to come, if that makes sense.

I'm only one chapter in, but I wanted to comment before I read more. I think you did a good job of setting up the characters, especially Zack's, in the first chapter. I think it'll be easier to understand why the characters are doing things later in the story because of it. I thought it was sweet that Alex was excited to introduce the boys to his family, awe.

The only thing that felt sort of awkward for me in the chapter was the way you said that Phoebe's mother died. It felt like you just introduced it super suddenly and so it felt kind of weird to me.

Other than that though, great job so far!

Loved the prologue! I don't see a lot of 2nd person on Mibba (and that's probably not a bad thing), but this was wonderful. I think choosing to show this letter first was a great idea. I think it makes a powerful statement.

Though not a lot happened in the first chapter, I did find this sentence interesting - Zack was last, and he waved shyly at each person, trying his best to stay back and avoid confrontation. After reading it, it made me immediately wonder about Zack. I thought it was weird that he was thinking about possibly getting into a confrontation, considering they were just meeting Alex's family. I started wondering if maybe he had a violent past or something to justify why he's so cautious.

Zack and Phoebe's growing relationship is definitely interesting. At times I feel like it might be moving too quickly for people who both seem so reserved, but I guess when you click with someone, it's just easier to move along.

I like how their relationship seems to be a really sweet one (so far). It seems like that's something they both need.

Summary:
I really enjoyed the quote you put down. It's really beautiful and sounds like it encompasses and really shows what the story is going to offer.

Preface:
I love the way you wrote the preface. It's so full of emotion. I could feel how unsure she was and then her decision to go to him and wow!

Chapter One:
The wind kissed his face good Lord, this line is absolutely beautiful. Just the imagery and word choices.
Another thing that I loved about this is that you basically introduced the band mates. I can't tell you how many times I've read bandfics that didn't explain who the members were. I don't listen to All Time Low so getting to know who they were and what they did was really refreshing to read.
The dialogue between the bandmates was really sweet. I love how natural it all was.
Woah, that bombshell at the end. Like there was no slowly getting the reader in it was just bam, he mom is dead.

I think this is a great start to the story! Your writing style is beautiful and I didn't see a single grammar/spelling mistake. Great job!

I love your banner, I've never seen Zack so beautiful :p. This story is great so far and I'm definitely gonna subscribe so I can stick around for more!

Comment swap has been very kind to me for once! I'm not a big ATL fan but the plot and characters were easy to follow. I liked the layout, it was really beautiful. The aquarium scene where Phoebe explains why she loves fish so much was really touching for me. It hade gripped and I couldn't stop once I started reading. Keep it up!

Hey I'm from comment swap and I live all time low! I was actually listening to 'Too Much' just now. I love your layout its really cute. Your writing really flows nicely and I havent noticed any spelling or grammar errors which is awesome. Your an exceptional writer and I really love this story! Keep going :)

Helllllo, m'dear! I come from comment swap, and I was silently hoping that I got a fanfiction of someone I knew, and to my pleasure I did!

For starters, I love you for making a Zack fanfiction because I feel like his is the one that isn't paid attention to hardly at all from that band, and I feel as though he is the most attractive one! So props to you for that c:

Secondly, I loved the preface! You used accurate details and five dollars words instead of basic synonyms, and that's a major plus for writing.

And lastly, I absolutely adore your layout! The background is gorgeous, and I like the fonts that you chose c:

Keep up the great work, darling!

Ahh! Hi, this is from comment swap. As a dedicated Hustler (All Time Low fan), I first off thank you for writing a Zack story. Only because I rarely see or get to read any stories with him as the main character.
Anyways, the first thing I saw when I clicked on this story is the layout. The thing I thought was, "wow! it's really pretty!" (I love flower-y backgrounds too so, A+, ye?)
The plot and the way you balance the description and dialog is just utter perfection.
I really don't have anything else to comment on so, good luck and I will definitely be recommencing this to other people. Good luck! xx.

Hi. This is from the comment swap thingy and I've read some of it. You write well and it's a good layout. But I've never listened to all time low so I guess I can't appreciate it as much as a fan. But I did look them up beforehand so I could picture it right. I'd suggest putting in a little more details about clothes and places, that kind of stuff. Keep up the good work!

I've never actually used the comment swap before and didn't realize it had to be over 200+. Oops! I already mentioned that I am not an All Time Low fan so I couldn't really relate with the story. Your writing is great though and I wish mine was that good. Your layout is beautiful and I also wish mine was that good. I actually have quite a few friends that are ATL fans. They don't read fan fiction much but I will recommend this to them.

I'm not really an All Time Low fan so I don't know the characters much, but your writing is very good. The layout is very nice and I think this story has potential.

I think that your layout is really nice and easy on the eyes. I think your writing is really good. Dialog flows nicely, and you lack enough detail to egg on the imagination. Which is good. This is a story that I would definitely recommend to an All Time Low fan.

Okay I'll be honest, I've never heard anything about All Time Low nor do I know anything about this band so I sort of dived into this story without knowing what I was going to get involved in. With that being said, your preface intrigued me and was successfully able to capture my attention. Usually, since I am doing this through comment swap, I just skim through the introduction and first few paragraphs in the chapters before summing up my comments, but your story actually made me keep going all the way through the first chapter. Your writing style is really good and your dialogue is even better. I've always been extremely stickler on dialogue and how people play out the conversations but yours is written very well. You describe what is being said perfectly and you make the conversations flow. It's really good. Also, I love the descriptions! I'm not that great at descriptions but yours is really good. I love how you write and I'm excited to see this story flourish. Although I never heard anything about All Time Low you made the story interesting and that I didn't need any background information for this story, thank you. Keep writing and good job! This story is superb!

Sincerely,
red981456

Found this through comment swap and I’ve really gotta apologize but I didn't read because I’m really, really am not a fan of All Time Low :S Really sorry, I'm sure it's great but... yeah. If you comment this back on mine I’ll hold no grudges. Sorry

I really like this!

Ah! I love it already!

zack is so cute omfg <3 " he loved talking about being healthy and photography more than breathing air"

Your writing is impeccable! Keep up the good work and I'll be waiting for an update! :)

I thought I've already commented on this..my bad haha. Anyways, this sounds really interesting! and I can't wait for more :)

I'm so happy comment swap bring me here!! Even though it just started, it's awesome! You have great grammar and the layout is amazing!!

Also the plot is very well structured and thought out, can't wait for more! :)