Live To Rise - Comments

@ Ashlyn in Wonderland
thanks i'll keep it in mind

Alright, I apologize if this sounds mean but I'm going to give you some pointers on how to make your writing better. First off, for each new person speaking, they get their own paragraph, but don't go too crazy with this concept. Names should always be capitalized, and your pace is very fast. It makes for what most readers perceive to be an unrealistic story line, and makes it harder to follow. Slow down, you have all the time in the world, and no limit on your words.

me and Levitate6661 says thanks

I like this like ALOT! its a unique story line and its awesome!