Hello - Comments

This was a really difficult one, considering I know absolutely nothing about The Outsiders. But once again, at least with the time period thing, you've succeeded greatly.

You get straight to the point, don't you?! The jump right into the harsh truths; of being unaccepted, of being abused. It's an excellent, if not saddening, hook to an intriguing story. It automatically grasps you into an almost trance-like state to the life of Ally. It's difficult to imagine this kind of life from my point of view, and I imagine most people's point of view. But you make it seem like a common life, something almost normal. Like it's supposed to be, and there are regular, trivial things. Like crushes.

But it's not some crazy, simple crush. It's like an infatuation, or almost an obsession. The forbidden fruit idea is a great concept, and although I generally hate overused cliches, you do it very tastefully. There is an actual relationship there; something to build off of which is very, very important.

I really do love the feeling of the 'gang' as a kind of family. Since you mentioned some of them having terrible lives as younger children, growing up, the new idea of comfort and a place to belong is very appropriate as well as fresh. That especially comes into play for me when she gets in the fight with Lisa and you begin to see just how much of an 'outsider' (haha I had to sorry) she is, or well that they all are. It demonstrates the prejudice incredibly well also.

I have so much contempt for the school, and for her family, and just all of it. I know it's fiction, but things like this have happened and it really upsets me, especially with how much detail you go into with it. It hurts. I like how much they've all developed, mostly through the relationships they have with each other. It's not so much direct as it is through everyone else's interactions that you find out more and more about the characters.

They pick their battles incredibly well. There's no messing around with it; like everyone thinks so poorly of them. They only have beef with those who have done them wrong, and even then aren't particularly violent about it. They want to protect what's important to them, just like any regular people. I like how that's a big point in all of this. They're just people. Kids even. Fighting their way through the world.

AND WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT SODA? Excuse you. You are not the point here, man. Back off. She's going through enough right now without your shit. But at the same time, ugh, I don't know maybe you're better for her. I don't know if anything is good for her right now except just great friends and a makeshift family, alright?

This is incredible, and I mean it entirely. And now I want to go find out about The Outsiders. Just another great story of yours, once again you should be proud :)

@ blue.
Oh my god, thank you so much! Your comment seriously made my month. I wasn't really sure if it was very good and I was busy so I stopped for a while. But I'm on Christmas break right now, and after reading your comment I'm gonna try my best to get a couple updates up within the next couple of weeks!

No, don't do this to me. Don't you be a good writer and make Soda kiss her and then disappear from updating. I've just started this story today and now I'm completely heartbroken to see your absence from it. I do the same thing with my stories, so I get it... But... :( It's so rare to actually find a decent Outsiders story, let alone a good one, let alone a GREAT one... And yours is marvelous! And I would really like it for you to update because things were just getting good and you're very talented... And pretty please... Update. :)

Your writing is pretty detailed, but also very natural-flowing, which is nice. I read The Outsiders ages ago so I don't really remember it, so the first chapter's introduction of the characters was really great. You've definitely got the teenage tone right. Overall, good job!

this is just oh so good! please upload!

I feel like Dally is gonna stab someone pretty soon. Oh, the suspense, it's killing me!
I really like how everything was written, I'm sad there's only three chapters so far, though. But, I can't wait to read more! c:
Dally needs to quit being hard and just passionately kiss Allison, or something.

Recommending & subscribing. I love The Outsiders. <3

So I've read the book The Outsiders and saw the movie in 7th grade, but I can't say that I remember any of it because, at the time, I hated reading just about everything in my English class. However, now that I'm reading this, I definitely might pick it up and read it. Once again, I loved reading this. I love the plot and the writing is very nice. I spotted a few errors here and there, but overall it's just perfection!
I loved how you gave a description of each person in the first chapter, it really helped me remember the characters, and I love how you portray them all. I thought the beating Ally got from her father was completely undeserved. How thickheaded can one guy be?! I also thought it proved how much of a good person she is when she decided to tough out his abuse so her brother wouldn't become sucked into it.
I'm subscribing to this, so I hope you'll update soon! :D
Keep up the amazing work!!

I love this! :)

Okay I honestly don't know where to start. This is really good. The details for this is amazing:) I'm say that I want Dallas and Allison together. That's just my opinion though. I think that this is a wonderful story and you are an amazing writer. I honestly can't wait for more. I think I could go on and on about how talented you are.

Pleeeeeeease update this? :)

First thing, this story is about greasers- I'm in love with greasers! Guilty of being stuck in the '50s lol.

I read the first chapter, and wow, your writing is really good. The layout is cute and really easy to read as well.

There's not many mistakes I found; they're not major enough to point them out.

I love this, okay. I really love this.

Happy (late) Halloween!

This is not something I would've read by own choice but it was actually good :)

This story is so good! You've got their personalities down really well, and Allison's personality fights right in with the other guys. It's great. I can't wait until you update. :D

Sent here from Comment Swap

I have absolutely no idea who the hell this thing is about but I still found it tremendously interesting. Your theme is so pretty and your writing skills are amazing! Your chapters are just the right length as well which make sit all the much better!

Keep writing and good luck

I come to you via comment swap!! I actually am familiar with The Outsiders (both book and movie) and really enjoyed them. That being said, I really enjoyed reading this!! I think it is very well-written and descriptive, but with just a couple possible grammatical errors. Great job, and keep up the good work!! :D

I am in love with this! Dallas was always my favorite character in the book; Well, him and Soda. Your writing style is really good, also. Can't wait for more!!

I was brought here by the comment swap :)

Fortunately, I've read the Outsiders, so I'm not going to point out the odd names. Its been a while since I read the book though - a very, very long time - so all these characters that appeared felt a little overwhelming to me. I think the main problem with this story is that not enough people have read the book, or it just isn't that popular, and so that's why your story is under-appreciated.

Regarding the actual content though, I actually felt a little lost at parts of it. To me, I thought there were too many characters, and this is especially frustrating because I think only big fans of the book understand who-is-who and what their relation is to one another. I don't think that was very clear, but then again, it might just be me.

I do have to agree with Aris. on one thing, I'm afraid, and that is to give your characters a little more depth. Sodapop, so far, is the most interesting. I was a little intrigued when he asked that question about Ally staying over. He seems to care about her a lot, and so I can already see some potential in those regards. I honestly didn't take much notice of the other characters though; as I said, I felt there were too many, and there was nothing to really set them all apart. I got a little confused with all those names.

Overall though, I think you're off to a good start. I hope you can find more Outsiders fans who might appreciate this story a little better. Keep working on it though :) x

I don't like the layout much - it lacks a theme, just colours, you know? And the summary basically gives everything away. Maybe a little more mystery? Draw the readers in. I'm not keen on the mini pictures at the bottom either, it makes the story look quite novice, I think and puts me off reading.

"Hell Sodapop!" to me, that's a painful entry. It just... hurts to see this in literature. I do not even know why. Anyway, there needs to be a comma after 'hello'.

No, I can't deal, why have you called people Sodapop and Ponyboy? I can not comprehend how completely ridiculous that is. I don't mean to be this harsh but just, what? Is it part of the fan fiction? I hope so.

I had to go to school which sucked, and oh yeah, it’s a Monday! the comma after sucked should be moved to after and.

You use a lot of 'says' 'said' etc. try branching out a little. Same goes for 'I' and 'He' sentence starters are important to vary.

Usually I read two chapters for comment swap, but I find this story is quite dry. 'Soda' is one of the only characters I find quite genuinely interesting. I think if you took more time to explain what's going on, and give your characters a bit more depth this story would have quite a bit more potential. I just seriously can not take this story seriously because there are characters called 'Sodapop' and 'Ponyboy'. My apologies, I know this comment is frustrating because sometimes I get people going 'I don't understand' on mine and it's annoying, but I really am trying my best with correcting grammar and spelling while ignoring the names.

This is my first fail review, honestly, so sorry.

I was brought here by comment swap --Quite…odd. For a fan fiction, I can only imagine what the original series is if they have names like soda pop and pony boy, lol. It seems very well developed though. Good description, detailing is also on spot with the plot Wonderful start; I hope you continue!