I just re-read this story and noticed how well you used describing words, I do however have one complaint which is that you didn't fully introduce the Characters with names and recognisable persona's. To me a Character is the most important thing in a story in which I felt slightly let down, other then that the storyline is great and it mirrors the song(which I have now listened too) and one of the greatest prospects of this one-shot was how I found no grammar or spelling mistakes, I think you could be a great writer in the future and I will be looking forward to reading more of your stories. I do hope this comment helped with any of your further writings.
July 17th, 2012 at 02:12am