Bang the Doldrums - Comments

Ahh, it is so refreshing to come across something this flawlessly written... I love this story! I mean, the fact that I have a mini-obsession with Pete Wentz doesn't hurt, but I felt equally attached to Sarah's character. I especially liked your use of fragmented sentences -- my favorite ex., "Lipstick. Note. Gone." -- I think those were really powerful. I also appreciate that you left the ending slightly unresolved to keep me wondering if they could manage the long-distance relationship (in my own mind they do, haha). Anyways, I'm glad I stumbled across this!

Ahh, it is so refreshing to come across something this flawlessly written... I love this story! I mean, the fact that I have a mini-obsession with Pete Wentz doesn't hurt, but I felt equally attached to Sarah's character. I especially liked your use of fragmented sentences -- my favorite ex., "Lipstick. Note. Gone." -- I think those were really powerful. I also appreciate that you left the ending slightly unresolved to keep me wondering if they could manage the long-distance relationship (in my own mind they do, haha). Anyways, I'm glad I stumbled across this!

I think you did a good job writing from the make point of view! It is very hard to do a gender swap, but you did great! In the bits where Pete an Sarah were dancing, you did a good job explaining how the dancing was for him. Boys are never as comfortable as dancing as girls are, so I like that you pointed that out!

-comment swap-

First of all, I'd like to say that I loved the song... Like, a lot. Almost as much as I liked the story! Super well written, with great grammar and spelling. The story itself was a little predictable, but written well enough to keep the reader going anyway! (trust me, it's a compliment!) I also liked how you didn't start from the very beginning, but more towards the middle. It give it a little more suspense to what they were doing. Overall, great job!

I really, really, REALLY liked this. thank you for telling me about it. the song is one of my favorite so to see it on screen like this made me love it even more.

I love this song. Seriously love it. This is a good take on it, I really enjoyed reading it. I think you did well writing in his point of view, and in general I think it's written well. No mistakes that I can see, which is awesome 'cause that can be really distracting. I thought this flowed really well and was just a good read :) i think I'll go check out more of your writing now

What a perfect song, what a perfect story! Kudos to you, this was beautifully written; the plot, the way you played Pete, absolutely everything! I will definitely be reading more from you<3

C o m m e n t; S w a p

Wow, just … wow. I really loved your story; the plot, the lyrical basis, the characters, the band, the flow of the story and the poetic way your spelled out this story. I’m almost sad it was a one-shot. Your spelling was amazing, and the grammar just the same :) I hope you had just as much enjoyment in writing this as I did reading it!

x

Hi, I'm from commentswap:) I do like Fallout Boy, but I had never heard of this song. I might have to go take a listen. But anyway, this was a very good story. I loved the description of the city and everything.. Made me actually feel like I could picture New York even though I haven't been there. Keep it up!

This is actually quite good:)

I realy like this because it sta described how I felt? I don't know of tht makes any sense of not. I wonder how the layout looked but I guess I won't get to find out because the new mibba changed everything!;o I hope it was beautiful for this beautiful story. But are you sure you don't want to keep writing? I don't know I just loved the way you wrote this. It all flowed really nicely and you gave a lot of detail and that is what I like in story!
*comment swap*

I like Fall Out Boy, but I don't know this song, I did enjoy this however.

I haven't read anything like this before, at least, nothing that has stuck with me like I think this will. It was beautifully written and it was easy to read with the layout (always a plus).

Nice work :)

This was really good :)