Life's Simple Truths - Comments

this story was amazing :] I really liked it and I liked the fact that it wasnt a happy ending... Your opening was perfect... I always say that people like stories for that very same reason.... overall this was great

Woah, this was.. wow. In the beginning, I was immediately hooked by the first sentence. Then the actual story started. I loved how you described her life to perfection: it was dull. She wasn't loved or hated. She was very, VERY normal and you made it more than clear that she was okay with that.

I loved the smooth transition from her average life at work into the robbery. It was incredibly heartbreaking because that stuff really does happen, i.e. 9/11. People going to work, expecting a normal day and then everything just suddenly falls apart. It was absolutely beautiful.

I love that we also never learn her name. It becomes so much more personal, like it could be anyone. Maybe thats what you were aiming for? Symbolism? I don't know, but if you were or weren't, it worked out pretty well that way.

I loved that she heard the gunshot and later found it to be her sister. Out of everyone in the room they could've shot, they shot her sister. Very sad and very crazy.

Lastly, I loved the moment when she thought of all the things she didn't know about her sister. All the things siblings would know and she didn't know any. It just shows how normal, if not bland her life truly was. When she was reminiscing on her sister asking her if she could stop by. You didn't even have to write that she was regretting it, that she wished for once she broke the rules so her sister wouldn't have to be there. So she wouldn't have died.

Anyway, I'm gonna wrap this up. Awesome job!

Interesting how very true this all is.
I like the way this was written, and how truthful and honest your writing is.
The story was intriguing and made me want to keep reading to see how it ended. I liked the twist at the end
I wouldn't mind reading other stories written in a similar style.
I will definitely recommend this.
Hope to see more stories from you in the future!