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Circles, We're Going in Circles - Comments

  • Bubblegum Pops

    Bubblegum Pops (100)

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    This is great! Update soon!
    November 8th, 2012 at 03:59pm
  • Red The Small

    Red The Small (100)

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    No way! My birthday is March 7th! :D March babies rule. Just sayin'. But anyway, Back to reading the 2nd chapter. xD
    August 16th, 2012 at 01:09am
  • Minnesota518

    Minnesota518 (100)

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    Wow. A lot happened in this chapter, but I like the way the story is turning out! Keep up the good work!
    August 5th, 2012 at 10:46pm
  • Minnesota518

    Minnesota518 (100)

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    I'm surprised this doesn't have any comments yet! It's an interesting concept! A few pointers: First, I noticed that the header in chapter two was misspelled. 'Definately' should be 'Definitely.' Secondly, I've noticed that there isn't much flow within your chapters. I didn't notice any grammar problems and your punctuation is really good. But it's a little choppy in between character quotes. If you take some time to express the characters feelings after they speak it may help to create more flow within your writing rather than moving from speaking sentence to speaking sentence.
    This isn't meant in any way to diss your writing, I think you've got a really great start and I'd like to see what happens next!
    August 1st, 2012 at 01:58am
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