Welcome to My Hell - Comments

Hello! Comment swap thingy here. It says this a fan fiction but I couldn't tell what of. That's a good thing though, it opens it up to readers. I noticed in chapter one you didn't use a question mark where it was clearly needed. Sometimes you confused words a bit, like in chapter three you somehow ended up with "Then this so call happens Georg" which doesn't make much sense. Just a quick run through will sort them out. You writing style is very unique and brilliant, but sometimes a little confusing. I did enjoy this though!! xx

Here from comment swap, I can tell you were really trying to put a lot of detail to your story and the suspense is great. However, I saw a lot of repetition going on even just in the first paragraph and there were a few grammatical errors, as well as syntax...which made it hard for me to get through the whole chapter.

Having said this, I must add that your writing style is unique in a sense and you really know how to draw people into the story. Good luck to you and keep up the great work.

this was a bit confusing in some parts - the house party after Bill's house burned down, and sometimes the quotes didn't always have quotations around them, but other than that this was a great read. Dean (in the first few chapters) reminds me of my brother quite a bit. i think you're a pretty good author, and should update very soon!!! i want to see what happens next. :)

I just finished reading this story and I really liked it. :) I loved Bill's personality in it by the way, lol. He's just so arrogant. One thing I did pick up on and I was sort of confused by is when Bill says in Chapter 11 that his house was burnt down to the ground and then they have a house party right after that. Besides that there was only a few grammatical errors. Now I'm off to read the next one!

Duddeee! Reading this from a school computer, Hacking at heart! I love it! I already knew who bill was talking about. (Grins!) Oh, and it is your turn... but I want you to write more of this. Okizzle? Alright! :]
Come over and kidnap me when you have the free-time, off your job I mean. (Congrats, I heard) Anyway. Love ya, talk to you later! <3

Updateee! =)

Comment swap sent me here twice ? Haha, I don't mind doe~ Since this is a really well written story. The chapter names catch your eye as well as everything else. I would buy it if it where for sale. I don't really know what to say that I haven't already said... But it's amaaazing.(:

I agree with the comment below me, the layout is very distracting; however, it does seem to make sense with your story. The prologue is pretty awesome. It makes me want to read more. But again it's hard to read do to the layout. I can very much feel the emotions which is good. Keep on writing~ & good luck. (:

The layout is very busy and sort of distracting, and it makes the story kind of hard to read, with the bright white text on a red background. I would suggest taming it a little bit, either making the background a plain color or the content a plain color.

I like the suspense that the story starts out with. It makes it sort of like a movie, I can picture the first scene, you did a good job writing that.

The first chapter is really emotional but not overwhelmingly so, because you describe everything really well.

Keep up the good work!

Can't wait :]