I Should Tell You. - Comments

Comment swap:
The character development was pretty great, you did a good job letting people know how Sophie and Alex felt and the plot was good.. a little cookie cutter but there's nothing wrong with that. I didn't like that conversations were big chunks and the rest were regular paragraphs with extra space in-between them, I really don't like that, it makes your writing look choppy, but other than that, the story was pretty well and I don't even follow this band. :)

Hey, I'm here from comment swap! Firstly, I was so happy to find out this was an All Time Low fan fiction, and even more happy to find out that it was about Alex. I love the idea and the plot you have going here. I think its got really great potential. Sometimes I think stories go better if you show, not tell, if that makes any sense. Not saying you have to do that, but it might be a thought. Other than that and a few spelling and grammar errors, you're story is brilliant!

Comment Swap :)
I LOVE All Time Low and I also love this story. It's super cute. the concept is great and is written well however I felt that alto was given away in the summary. other than that and a few spelling errors (although that may just be me as I am the worst speller I human history). keep updating, I really wanna know where you take this!

I was brought here by comment swap!(:
Anyways, this is so cute!
I love All Time Low, so this story really amused me and caught my eye.
The concept and plot of this is good, and I love it!
You mispelled a few words and had a couple of grammar mistakes here and there, but I still enjoyed it
Keep up the good work!

OHMAHGAWD. I love yerr story :D It's so amazing hehe. I love how Justin is trying to make up for being such a shitty boyfriend! Are Alex and Sophie gun' end up together? UPDATE <3

I first off want to start by saying I like the plot of the story. I like the plot because it is a very popular way to take a storyline, I am one of many who are caught up in the romance of a love triangle.

I think you could improve the structure of the story, by extending each idea and each setting. Maybe try explaining her job and how she came to working there. Also maybe extending the conversations and interactions that she has with other people. I love the way she interacts with Alex and would love to see more of that. I would like to know how they know each other so well and how they connect so well.

I think you would benefit a lot from just re-reading your story and seeing just little things that can be improved. All around though I think this story has a lot of potential.

I think too much is given away in the summary. You've already revealed how everyone feels about everyone else and I think that would better be revealed at least in the first chapter, if not the first couple. You should unravel the plot for the readers, and not just state it all up front.

You throw out a lot of names in the first couple paragraphs without really explaining who all these people are. I get that it's All Time Low, but in the context of this story, I have no idea who they are at all. Also, you probably shouldn't link outfits in the actual content of the chapter, but at the end in the author's note.

On more positive notes, you do a great job with describing things and not just telling but showing. I like the relationship between people, especially Alex and your main character. It seems like a realistic friendship which makes me like them.

Keep up the good work!

Some things I noticed. One you do not skip lines in between pieces of dialogue. Instead you clump it together and it is very hard to read as it appears like one big muddle of text. The relationship was good between Sophie and Alex showing the complexity of Lilly's relationships with two people she cares about. My only other thing it that you should go deeper. Explore the realms of Lilly's psyche as that is a gold mine waiting to be uncovered. Good luck and may the pen be ever in your favor.

Hmm. I'm got this through comment swap, and I'm not really familiar with the band, so I did a little googling. But sounds good so far, Sophies innocence makes her a relatable and likable character. Keep up the good writing!

Comment swap here! So glad I came across an ATL one! Awww this is so so so so so cute!!! I like how Alex claimed her for the day lol. So cute. For sure can't wait to see where this goes. Please update soon!

This looks amazing. I can not wait for an update.

This looks like a really good story. I hope there is more soon. :)