Silent Night - Comments

@TooSmartBlondes
Thanks for the comment c:

@ TooSmartBlondes
Thank you! I really appreciate your comment. I will definitely continue :D

You should continue writing this when you get the chance. It's a really good story. :)

You should continue writing this when you get the chance. It's a really good story. :)

Thanks we apologize for the grammar and spelling errors we'll try to watch them but we're really glad for your comments.
As for the Joker we don't want to give anything away so please stay tuned and thank you

I actually really like this. There's a few issues with spelling and grammar, but apart from that it's a really good story. Aster should just get it over with and get back together with Bruce xD Oh, and will the Joker be included in this? Because the summary mentions the Joker in it. O.o Anyway, I love it <3

Aww K. I like it :)

Thank you for commenting! This really makes me happy, I have chapters I just gotta put them up

@ XMusicXIsXMyXLifeX

I luv this so much plzz continue its great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ special?
Yeah slow poke! :) Getta writing! JK love you...

@ The Joker;
I love this person :) Alright personally I thought it was a bad chapter but Im happy someone liked it. Little crititism, I like that too. I can understand, most people I know are more like Zander(Kiana) but I like being Aster,well-I guess I am her! Thank you so much for commenting and supporting us. I adore them and they made me feel like We're great writers. Hopeful more people will read it and like as much as you do. We promise to update ASAP!!

My turn :DDDD

Hola.

So, yeah, I really liked this new chapter. Yay for changing the font and all, it's very pretty c:

"Yerp?" she mouthed. She shook her head and said "Beware of the Brucester"

Awww. She thought I was afraid of that prick. Cute.

I chuckled. "Z, we been over this. I'm not scared of fuck-face."

Aster just makes me laugh so much. She's very vulgar and sort of out there, but that's what I like about her! I feel sorry for Bruce at times, even though he deserves it, because Aster is a bad ass and if you cross her then you are pretty much fucked... heh... I loved how people joined in with the wine-rain and just started spraying it over everyone. Obviously more people than just Aster and Zander want this party to liven up xD

Red-faced and caught, we scooted away from each other,"Master Wayne, Miss Dawes is here to see you now." I made an ugly face, she was ruining shit back then too. It was 10 years ago.

In the movie, I actually really liked Rachel Dawes. I mean, I thought she was a bit dumb at times, but I was kinda sad when she got blown up. But this story has seriously made me loathe her. It's a compliment, because you've managed to completely change my view on someone in about 4 chapters, haha. I adore how Aster narrates things, like when she says 'ruining shit'. It really shows her personality when she remembers things, and I like that.

Hmm, I would have to say that I prefer Aster but I'm more like Zander. Aster just so wild and I really like characters like that, but I am far from wild. So yep, definitely more like Zander, just being a partner in crime rather than the evil mastermind. Even though Zander's still awesome.

"Are you insane?"
"Probably"
"What's wrong with you?
"I'm young and broke."
"You can get raped Aster!"
"Bruce, we live in Gotham. We can get raped doing anything"
"Why do you do this to yourself?"
"Y.O.L.O?"
"Yellow?'

This is probably my favourite piece of dialogue in the whole chapter. Aster and Bruce are kinda cute together, even if it is in the love-hate way. The first two lines, just mmfmf, I love them. And I laughed so hard when Bruce didn't realize what YOLO meant, and thought that she was saying yellow. Although I don't blame him, I didn't even understand it until like, a few months ago. The whole 'We can get raped doing anything.' is just so true, and I smiled a little bit even though its a bit of a serious issue. Its just that the way Aster puts it makes it seem funny.

My one piece of criticism is that you need to space out the dialouge so that there is a full space between them, otherwise it looks kinda cramped.

I think Aster will take the job, eventually: she's ruled by her pride, and her hate for Bruce, but she can't keep on stripping forever can she? I hope she does take it, its a good opportunity for her. Even though she hates her boss. xD

Anywho, lovely chapter, update soon!

Never.

Leave me alones >.>

You make my head hurt child...XP

OMG! thanks alot criticism like that is totally what we need and deeply appreciate. I mean seriously i loovvvveee it and love u more fore writing it. Im glad tht u knew exactly what to change and how to change it and also how much you liked my chapter. thank you so much and if u dont mind keep sharing ur opinion it is awesomely awesome u awesome person! xoxoxo

I...I...I love you. No, honestly I've been locking for comments like these, little bits of criticism like that is what pushes me to keep writing and no you didn't sound bitchy AT ALL. You sound like you know what you're talking about and I respect that. Thank you so much for this! While I can't give you a sneak peek of what coming next, believe it's going to be good.

I really like this. It has a lot of potential for a story, and even only three chapters in I'm starting to like it more and more c: I want to start with some constructive crit first, however, because I wish to get it out of the way so I can praise you :D

Criticism:

I think that you should change the summary font into something that's not comic sans. Sorry, I'm very picky, but it sort of gives off a childish vibe and personally I really don't like that font. It's nothing against your writing, of course, its just your layout and such as that will have a really big impact on the number of readers you get. First impressions and whatnot. Also, you've slipped a few times in punctuation and proper spacing; especially in regards to spacing with dialogue. I suggest you search for a beta on the forums, or if you want I could look over the chapters for you and fix any small errors! :)

Okay that's enough. Praise time.

Praise:

I adore Aster as a character; despite the toil she has already gone through in her life, she manages to pull it together somewhat and support everyone. Even if I don't approve of the stripping, I understand that she had to do it and I still love her. Also, I love how sarcastic she is. I've always had a soft spot for sarcastic characters, and this bit particularly:

"Party? You mean this party right here on this paper?" I said looking at the obvious look of crazy I know oh so well.

"Um no I mean the fucking party that's on the moon with the unicorns, no duh this party!" she said in a sharp sarcastic tone."

Made me laugh a lot :D I also like how she doesn't drool over Bruce like every other girl in Gotham, even after he sends her so many gifts. Instead of going there because she misses him, she goes there to crash the party. :D

"ALRIGHT EVERYBODY TIME FOR A CHAMPAGNE SHOWERRRR!!!" we heard come from outside the door.

Ahh, Aster. Anyway, yeah, I really like her.

Your writing is simplistic and balanced, not too wordy and not too boring. I'm able to paint a pretty good picture in my head, and some of the vocabulary you use is excellent. I love the relationship between Aster, Zander and Alfred. My eyes were watering too, I swear. It was pretty damn beautiful. The relationship between Zander and Aster in itself is awesome; I especially loved how you referred to them as 'partners in crime', because it was such a lovely description and they both fit into it so well. Even though Aster is the evil mastermind. xD

I found this story while looking for Joker stories like mad, because The Joker is plain awesomeness and I've been going on a hype lately: because your intro had 'Joker' in it obviously it came up on the search page; and I'm glad it did. I am actually quite interested to see how things turn out especially after reading your intro on the search page.

Aster has had a emtpy feeling in her heart since her parents died but will meeting Gotham's dark knight change the way she feels about the city or will Joker ruin it all?

Oh, and you made a little error with 'empty' there. Sorry. :c Anywho, I'm really excited to see how The Joker is introduced into this, and if Bruce actually manages to get to console Aster. This was amazing, and I'm sorry if the crit made me sound bitchy, because I actually really like this. Subscribed, update soon!

Ok, thank you I really need this feed back to push me to keep going!
-Mani XXX