Sleep Tight - Comments

hello there, i am from comment swap.

so i'm diggin' it so far. your descriptions are really well put, just a tad awkward and redundant. i like them a lot, nonetheless. so what i get from this, is she's cracking and going nuts under the pressure of her modeling career. i really enjoy this, because it's plausible. fact with a little flavor c: keep up the good work

Hello there. :) I have to say I liked reading this but you better describe more the situations, were they stand and the characters. How do your characters look like etc. I liked the dialogue and the main character's thoughts. XD I agree with the user below and you better listen to her. What she says actually helps. At least it did with me. Keep up the great work and share your imagination with me and yous fans. :DDDD

Great dialogue so far. I'm really interested to see where this story goes. I would suggest a little more setting description. I didn't have a very good feel for where the characters were. Because of that the story seemed to jump around a little bit and it was a little difficult to understand where your characters were. In editing this, I would suggest slowing it down with setting descriptions.

Also, I'd like a little more character description. What does the mom look like? Dress like? What about Bianca and Koria? It will give them a little more depth I think

I also saw a lot of errors in the editing of your story. Most of them were pretty obvious errors that you probably just missed while writing. So be sure to go back through each chapter and read it aloud. If you have difficulty with any parts, fix them up. You'll also be able to fix all the little errors. I'd also suggest getting a beta, an editor, to go through your chapters and help you out with them. You can usually request a beta on the forums or ask one of your friends to be your beta. Whatever works :)

Some suggested reading for you would be to read Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson. It's an amazing book that deals with anemia and bulimia. It could give you some great ideas.

Other than that, keep on writing and have fun ^^