I can see this story is an older one so I'm not sure how relevant this comment will be, but oh well. The dialogue you've written is good and flows on well, but there are a few grammatical errors. Normally I overlook a few errors but since the very first character of the story is an error (,, instead of ") it just made me notice them a bit more. The further in you got the more descriptive you got beyond the dialogue which was excellent, it made it easier for me as someone who isn't familiar with who Dan Flint and You Me At Six is to picture what they're like and how they might act. Good job :)
@ Hello Cold World Rou is a made up character and the picture I used is Some model I forgot her name ^^ (I'm on my phone atm, but I'll post the name in the next update) Im glad you like it :)
I absolutely loved this story. I absolutely love Dan Flint too. He's super adorable. owo The layout is very beautiful~ You're a good writer and there weren't any mistakes I picked up on.
I don't know who Rou Christensen is, but she is very beautiful. TT.TT
Comment Swaperino! Hey there, your layout is so pretty. I have no idea who those people are, so I just pictured really good looking strangers. Anyways, I enjoyed the first chapter, it was quick paced and easy to read. Just a piece of advice, space out your paragraphs because it doesn't look very appealing to have everything so... together, you know what I mean? But good job! I shall now google those people to see if they're as good looking as I pictured them xD