And Love Walked In - Comments

Just found this today and I love it :) can't wait for more of this!!!

Very good <3

Please update soon. :c I really do love this story.

Things are starting to get intense. I really love this story :)

I really like this<3

I really do like this story, and I'll admit...I did get excited when I saw that you updated "3 minutes ago"

Noooo!!!

By the way, did you change the layout or am I going completely bonkers? I like the new one if you did, but if there was an old one I remember liking that too...

Oh my goodness! Ahdfsiobdaldfnkads can I kill his dad? And seriously, what kind of guy just tells him anyway because he "can't lie to him." He so could! His dad didn't even ask about it! Ahhhhh.
Anyway, I feel like Em's character is more constant already, so great job.
Awesome chapter, even though it was terrible.

Poor Emerson :( Poor Rome :( Good chapters showing their hardships and making us even more sympathetic towards them.
I read party's comment and I agree with them on Em. His personality confuses me. I see what you were trying to do, but it could be improved by staying more constant from now on.
I also agree with taking things slow. The plot is important, but it's ok and necessary to give the characters time to develop and properly deepen their relationship. Just like I said earlier, don't rush it! We won't get bored if you make it interesting :)
Despite these things, it really is one of the better stories I've read and I'm already into the plot. Your details are fun to read and really are geared to help us grip what's happening. Keep being amazing :)

and here i come in a wave of constructive crticism.. ahaha.
okay, so let's start with my first question. who is Emerson? I mean, I'm reading from his point of view but his personality is all over the place. The way you described his personality in the very beginning made it seem like he was living the life.. then all of a sudden he was at dinner and life sucked and he was crying. then, in the coffee shop he approached Rome with an almost mysterious, nonchalant attitude and all of a sudden he was a smitten little girl around Rome. not to mention that the bulk of their relationship grew within what, a two hour span? it's not very likely. i, personally, would've suggested him wanting to meet Rome at the park, but being too afraid to sneak out. it would make your readers wonder.. will they ever meet again? don't make it predictable and fast..make it slow and interesting with twists and turns that leave them on the edge of their seat. if i could make any suggestions, it'd be to find who Emerson is as a person before continuing on, because I'm quite confused by who he is. His personality changes every two seconds. I like Rome, though. I know who Rome is and he's very set in his ways. Perhaps do what you did for Rome to Emerson? Also, a few grammatical errors and different ways you could've written some parts to make it more dynamic and realistic, but besides that i like the plot a lot and I'm interested to see where you take this.

He gave away his book?! Wow that majorly shocked me, even only after one previous chapter with him! Why was Em crying? His family seems to suck, yes, but it seeems like it would take something larger to set him off.

I'm glad they finally met! I can't wait to see what Rome put in the book
:)

The story idea is interesting and shows the flaws of both worlds. I feel like the second chapter was a bit rushed, maybe needing a bit more description. I like your use of details, so keep doing it! :)

This is totally awesome so far! I can't wait to see what you have in store
:)

Sounds good so far