Whirlwind - Comments

  • paint.it.black.

    paint.it.black. (100)

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    Really love this story!! Glad you updated :) great chapter!
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:09pm
  • xDiscoBallx

    xDiscoBallx (100)

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    Another good chapter! And yes, I have seen The Deep Blue Sea! He is absolutely fantastic in that role :)
    August 18th, 2012 at 07:49am
  • xDiscoBallx

    xDiscoBallx (100)

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    Wowzers! I agree though, with the two comments below mine, the conversation does seem a little too perfect and a little unnatural.
    I think this story has a lot of potential to be great! I like the character development you have already given her and I hope you manage to give the same development to Tom! Looking forward to the next chapter :)
    August 17th, 2012 at 02:38am
  • sobriquet

    sobriquet (100)

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    Wheee - what a third chap. you've got there, haha! It was very endearing, the way Tom and Sarah slowly let their feelings show. But it's obviously clear that the build up to ther romance is going to be the only slow thing about it. I do agree with a comment below me, regarding the forced interactions, but not fully. While some of their dialogue is very natural, I feel you could work on the flow of their interactions. For such a whirlwind romance, their attractions needs to be organic, not convenient or forced. These are merely opinions, though! I really do enjoy this read, especially because of our dear Tom. Just remember to keep the flow going, that's all! Very Happy
    August 15th, 2012 at 07:37am
  • silk tea.

    silk tea. (400)

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    Haha this is cute, I fangirled a bit when Tom showed up. The only issue I have with this is the conversations sound a bit forced and unrealistic. I've never heard anyone talk like that. >.< But otherwise, lurve. I think you narrate very well, like I can tell by the way your character feels the need to over-explain everything she does that she really is lonely and probably talks to herself more than she does most people. I look forward to an update.
    August 14th, 2012 at 05:47am
  • sobriquet

    sobriquet (100)

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    Absolutely adore this story so far, as well as your portrayal of Tom. The line about his crinkling eyes was so sweet. Looking forward to more Hiddles adorableness!
    August 12th, 2012 at 12:07pm
  • katie13

    katie13 (250)

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    Hey, I'm from comment swap :)
    Don't eat me, but I have no idea who Tom Hiddleston is. Um. Yeah. I see him a lot on tumblr but I don't know what he's in or what he does. Oops.
    Moving swiftly onward... This is a really great story! The characters already have a tangible chemistry and your spelling and grammar are almost perfect! I like it, keep up the good work :)
    August 12th, 2012 at 03:21am
  • HellzxAngelx13

    HellzxAngelx13 (100)

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    Oh. My. God. I literally just sat here and smiled throughout the whole second chapter. I love it! Your character is extremely well developed and and I love how believable her and Tom's meeting was. Sometimes the meetings and initial interactions are just too much, but I think yours were perfect. I absolutely love where this story is going and I am definitely subscribing. I cannot wait for your next post!
    August 12th, 2012 at 03:00am
  • xDiscoBallx

    xDiscoBallx (100)

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    Tom the savior. Classic! ;)

    Can't wait until the next
    August 11th, 2012 at 03:52am
  • Laobows!

    Laobows! (100)

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    Even thought it's the first chapter, I am already in love with this story! I can't wait to see what happens when Tom comes into the picture. Keep up the fantastic work!!!!!!!!!!
    August 10th, 2012 at 09:32pm