Wowzers! I agree though, with the two comments below mine, the conversation does seem a little too perfect and a little unnatural. I think this story has a lot of potential to be great! I like the character development you have already given her and I hope you manage to give the same development to Tom! Looking forward to the next chapter :)
Wheee - what a third chap. you've got there, haha! It was very endearing, the way Tom and Sarah slowly let their feelings show. But it's obviously clear that the build up to ther romance is going to be the only slow thing about it. I do agree with a comment below me, regarding the forced interactions, but not fully. While some of their dialogue is very natural, I feel you could work on the flow of their interactions. For such a whirlwind romance, their attractions needs to be organic, not convenient or forced. These are merely opinions, though! I really do enjoy this read, especially because of our dear Tom. Just remember to keep the flow going, that's all!
Haha this is cute, I fangirled a bit when Tom showed up. The only issue I have with this is the conversations sound a bit forced and unrealistic. I've never heard anyone talk like that. >.< But otherwise, lurve. I think you narrate very well, like I can tell by the way your character feels the need to over-explain everything she does that she really is lonely and probably talks to herself more than she does most people. I look forward to an update.
Absolutely adore this story so far, as well as your portrayal of Tom. The line about his crinkling eyes was so sweet. Looking forward to more Hiddles adorableness!
Hey, I'm from comment swap :) Don't eat me, but I have no idea who Tom Hiddleston is. Um. Yeah. I see him a lot on tumblr but I don't know what he's in or what he does. Oops. Moving swiftly onward... This is a really great story! The characters already have a tangible chemistry and your spelling and grammar are almost perfect! I like it, keep up the good work :)
Oh. My. God. I literally just sat here and smiled throughout the whole second chapter. I love it! Your character is extremely well developed and and I love how believable her and Tom's meeting was. Sometimes the meetings and initial interactions are just too much, but I think yours were perfect. I absolutely love where this story is going and I am definitely subscribing. I cannot wait for your next post!
Even thought it's the first chapter, I am already in love with this story! I can't wait to see what happens when Tom comes into the picture. Keep up the fantastic work!!!!!!!!!!