Haha, oh hung-over people amuse me almost as much as drunk people.
You have very interesting characters and I like how they interact with each other, especially after a good night of partying. They're always playing off each other and it makes them so believeable and complex, which also implies that they all have a good relationship with each other.
Ok, I'm getting too formal.
But who needs pants, honestly? They're so overrrated, anyway. xD It was so funny how they kept picking on each other. Poor Finn. :( I'm sure that hurt a lot. Also, Dillon wearing Jenna's pants was hilarious. If I ever drink ridiculously I hope that won't happen to me. I kind of like my pants a lot. Haha.
This seems like it's going to be a pretty good story. It's loaded with humor and mischief in just the first chapter. I can only imagine how epic the other ones are going to be.
Summary I honestly remember a time when I took my summary and wrote it almost exactly like yours. Now I make it a sentence or two. Anyway, I thought it was a tad bit cliche, but it gives you a good enough insight on the story as a summary should.
Chapter One I like the way it starts off, in a mere hangover. But I was really confused when I was reading and the dog's name was Salem and then so was the cat's name. Don't know if it was supposed to be that way, but it was really confusing me. Overall, this was a good chapter. A lot of characters to remember but interesting enough to keep me alert. I normally don't read stories like this, but good luck on this!
Thank you all do very much! I speak for both myself and Kayla when I say we really appreciate it. The con/crit and support will help us to become better writers and, in return put out better chapter for you all to (hopefully) come back and read.
Last crunch bar delivery here! So I really like this story! I don't usually read stuff like this, but I actually enjoyed it because you write with a good style and grammar, so it's easy to like! The profile was a bit bright and I had to adjust to it, but once I did it was easy to read this, and I like the banner.
Your characters are awesome too, and I found myself laughing here and there. Over all it was all good, and I'm glad I got the chance to read this!
Hahahahahaha can I just say that the characters are all so funny. I especially like Jenna and Olivia. They all seem like such a tight-knit, easygoing group of friends who are just fun to be around and fun to party with. I'd love to hang out with them.
Anywho, so your writing is really good and really realistic, the dialogue makes you feel like you're actually watching them talk to each other back and forth. I like it a lot :)
Umm...soo..This isn't my sort of fan fiction, but I love the banner!! Those guys are seriously hot!!!!!!!! Haha. This isn't my kind of music, to be honest, but the story's really good
I read the first chapter and so loved it, but since Benjamin Bruce wrote the second chapter I'm focusing on that...since you're the one who requested the comment on candy bowl.
Okay so I officially wish these five were legitimate people and I was friends with them. They are hysterical...like no one's business.
let it burn in he lungs should be 'her'
They four stoners should be 'the'
our at the girls should be 'out'
Otherwise this was a really good chapter. Kind of relieved that Asking Alexandra wasn't in it yet because I know nothing about them! Anyway, I really like the characters, they are each really funny and I enjoyed reading this!
This story is really fun! You threw a load of different characters together, so things are bound to get interesting, of course. I think this is a really great light read to perk up anyone's sprits!
Characters:
Olivia and Jenna are funny together. I love their conversation when they're both hungover. They're really sassy to one another, which I think says a lot about close they are as friends! They boys are hilarious together. They just pick on one another and have loads of fun, and it's just great!
Ways to Improve:
The only thing I think you need to improve on would be varying the chapter structures. A lot of the chapters are mainly dialogue, which can be hard to read and follow sometimes, so I just suggest adding a little bit more action and description. Other than that, it was really great!!
*blows whistle*
HELLOOOOO?!?!