December 30th, 2012 at 06:41pm
I will do your comment swap with my story 'Strange'
This such a great story and the first Billie Joe Slash. I really like that you are taking your time with starting the relationship between Brian and Billie. I can't wait for more
Now, onto your story. The only negative thing I have to say is that the summary cuts off a little a the ends. I don't know if it's just my browser or my laptop, or what, but maybe it's just me. It's pretty nice. I don't have much to say about the first chapter - it's pretty solid and consistent through out, so kudos. Chapter Two is interesting because there's a lot more insight into the characters, and I think Dixie is my favorite in this one. She's a wild card. Chapter Three is a nice change, and Brian seems to be as awkward as I am - which is just too precious. He's too cute. The next chapter makes Brian even cuter - "Stop tickling me!" - and he tells ~~spooky~~ stories to creep people out and I just approve of him completely.He knew. ~~cue giggles at Billie Joe being embarrassed~~ Chapter Five includes a sassy and blushing Brian, a slap-happy Dixie, and an angst-y Billie, which makes for a pretty nice chapter. Six and seven are pretty sad, kind of, and I feel bad for Billie and I just want to snuggle with him (or make Brian snuggle with him >:D). Eight makes me want to shake my head disapprovingly at Dixie (tsk-tsk) and want to just lock Billie and Brian in the car until they made up :3 Nine makes me want to shake Brian and tell him that his red cardigan is endearing because cardigans are cool and they kissed, which is like, oh, yes.
I can't say anything negative about this because it just flows and works right. I give it an A, because it's intense, but in a slow, smoldering way, and it's really hard to do something like that. But you have, so there you go. :3