Sophomore - Comments

I like it but it was jumpy, I like the layout too, very original for this story, I'm guessing this was a one shot, like I it, I just want to feel more for the characters, I want to learn a little about them, I'm gonna definitely recommend this...

This story was super jumpy. I feel like it would have had a LOT of potential if it hadn't all been crammed into one chapter. I find it really hard to believe that she'd been friends with him fr such an amount of time and somehow didn't know that he was a freshman. It got a bit hard for me to follow at some points but overall it was a very lovely, well-written story. :)

Comment swap.:D
-i enjoy the flowyness of your story, its really great. :) the descriptions make it easy to believe. You really capture the whole sophmore thing well. :) im very glad commentswap brought me to your story. You had a few spelling errors. But thats ok :)

Comment Swap:
If the character had never seen or met Reid before, how did she know his name? I do feel this story is a little bit jumpy.

I caught a few grammar mistakes and just general editing mistakes, for example "I was used to be ignored." instead of "I was used to being ignored."

I do like the simplicity of this, but I felt like you could have put more emotion into it. I do adore the first sentence, it was a great way to hook in readers.

Hey there! So, I dislike high school stories especially love stories. I feel like it's too cliché and maybe a bit immature. Your story is none of those things. However, I wouldn't call it the best story I've seen or a masterpiece. It's an alright story. The lack of detail is a huge turn off for me, as well. Maybe if you re-wrote this with more detail, it'd be better. I'm not saying this is bad, it isn't. I just have this feeling like you could improve this a lot if you gave it a try. Someone already pointed out the little mistakes, so there's no need for me to do so. Also, don't worry about these mistakes because they're minor and you can always correct them. Spelling-wise I didn't see anything wrong, which is more than I can say for most of the stories here on Mibba. Keep writing and keep practicing and soon you'll be a really great writer :)

I love how you decided to put down something so personal in writing. It's really an amazing outlet, whether a true recollection or converted into fiction. Also, the way you summed up that one year is in a brief but in important way, because you trigger the most important aspects of it.

I'm sorry about your anxiety. I dealt with that about the same time that you did. ^__^ I'm happy you were able to find people that soothed it, and that helped you transform through that year. In accordance with the story-aspect, I love how you tell the story in such a believable way that I can both picture it and understand how you would react to it, as a real person.

(Also, it looks like no one pointed out some of the simple errors in your story, so I'll do that. "I was used to be ignored," should be replaced with "being." Also, "Kristy spreading rumors" should either be connected with the prior sentence or revised grammatically.)

Constructively, I think there was a matter-of-fact tone throughout some of the story, which could be told with more imagery or an extended voice, however, that is only my biased opinion and I'd rather you write the way that is the most beneficial to telling your story. <3

Hi! I liked this, I know how it feels and it sucks...
Well written, perhaps when describing the anxiety, instead of using words like 'nervous', try describing how it felt, use imagery to bring the reader into the moment.

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I have decided to read stories based upon true events, so I will critique this and give you my honest opinion as I go.
The first sentence already pulled me. I would never fall in love. I know that feeling. Always telling myself that I won't do it especially with someone younger than me (that's happened to me).
I like the way you write, but I think a bit more detail can really hook people in. I love the honestly and the simplicity that you include in this piece of work and on top of that, it's all true and something that happened during your sophomore year. I just ended mine but I was never in a situation quite like this. All in all, this is great.

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I like reading true stories. So i enjoyed this. I'm in my junior year so my sophomore year is fresh in my mind. Mine was much different than yours of course but yours was very interesting and i liked reading it. :) keep writing

Oh wow we have the same "I want my high school bf be like this" requirements. Scary. I developed a sort of anxiety disorder in high school year too! (Freshman year for me, though.) Your school actually let in a streaker? Wow. I wish i had gone to your school.
Reid is a jerk and his dumb girlfriend should have taken a minute to see the misunderstanding and that it was he flirty boyfriends fault!

And gosh this is so sad, I honestly thought Jay would end up being a good guy! Thank goodness Reid saved you but I still don't like him for flirting while 'taken'. And ooh! Kristy is such a witch! How dare she start rumors about you when she just jumps the next guy almost immediately (well that's what I got).

And i can't believe Anna let you date Jay without telling you about his abusive tendencies. Promise me you won't ever be her friend again. Promise! (Although I don't know you. O.O)

You've inspired me to post my high school years but unfortunately they all sucked and were completely uneventful. Ha ha.

Anyway this was a great story...Well it's true so, this was a great true story.

Okay, so I'm going to start by saying that the layout was kind of distracting, like the SOPHOMORE thing in the back. I had to change it to the default layout because my eyes started to hurt. However, once I started reading, I fell in love with the story. I actually dated a freshman during my sophomore year, so I understand why she felt uncomfy about dating a freshie. There were a few minor spelling errors, but nothing major. Just look over it once, you'll catch them. Overall I really really liked this. Great work! :)