Black Dog - Comments

In love with this. Perfectly written, definitely has me smiling. I love the way you portray their relationship, its perfectly tangible. Love, love, love.

@ StacieIerogeance
no that part is in matt's shoes, but the other parts in third person surround matt's point of view. because he hasn't seen brian and i wanted that part to stick out more, you know? i'm sure i put a pause but if you missed it then i probably forgot. it switches like that because the character i made matt out to be is like "oh so in love with this person and he was clingy" so instead of just having it in third person the whole time, i wanted that specific part for the reader so they know what matt's feeling, putting themselves in matt's shoes for a brief time. if it confused you i can't be sorry, because this is more of an abstract piece. if you'd like i have other fics that more direct and straightforward.

No I mean there is at one point where you said like we were in matt's shoes. "He waves and walks a little faster, his smile is growing and you’re pretty sure yours is too. You get up when he reaches your table booth and you grab him and he kisses your cheek. He smells fantastic by the way and you’re reluctant to let go.

You do anyway and he sits down while you slide back in, excited to hear what project Brian was working on, but really you just want to stare at him and relish in his presence, because he’s finally here now and that’s all that really matters.

For now." Right where I bolded everything. If you want it in Matt's point of view and not seeming like we are Matt you might want to change THAT that's all i'm saying.

@ StacieIerogeance
lol i'm not fixing anything. that was the whole purpose, because we only see matt's view, nothing else.

Your writing is confusing because at one point you say matt and brian and the next you are saying "You do Anyway." like putting us in matt's shoes or something...Make sure you fix that either write Matt and Brian did this or you stare at Brian.